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I owed her that much.
I owed her so much more.
Scooping her off the couch and into my arms, I carried her up the stairs. It brought back memories of that night. Of the way she’d curled against me, shivering, shaking in fear, holding on as if I were her savior instead of the man who hadn’t gotten there soon enough.
At the top of the stairs, I stopped, then dropped my lips to her crown. “I gotcha. You’re safe with me.” I carried her into her room and tucked her into bed. Then I pressed a kiss to her forehead, lingering as I sent up a prayer.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered against her skin before pressing another kiss there. “Please, forgive me.”
Forgive me for wanting more because it was nearly impossible for me not to. Not to want to hold her and touch her and kiss her in ways that would only scare the shit out of her and have her running away.
But I couldn’t stop myself. Not after she’d wormed her way into my heart.
When I stepped back, I didn’t settle on the floor like I wanted to. I went back downstairs and cleaned up my files. Walked the dark, lonely rooms of the house. Then I went down to my bedroom, intending to hop in the shower and change before returning to her side to make sure she was okay.
Somehow, that plan didn’t work. I awoke in my own bed, a thin shaft of sunlight squeezing through the curtains covering the window near the ceiling. I startled as my eyes landed on the reflection in the mirror against the wall near the foot of the bed, jumping up and spinning and nearly falling off the mattress.
“Kelly?”
She was there, sitting on the corner of the bed, looking more rested than she had since I’d met her. “Hi.”
“Are you okay? What’s wrong?” I threw off my covers and scrambled across the mattress to her, thankful that I hadn’t peeled off my clothes in the middle of the night like I usually did when I slept alone. I took her face in my hands, looking her over like I could see what it was that caused all her pain.
“Nothing’s wrong.” She shook her head, covered my hands with hers and pulled them off her face. “It’s morning. I just woke up.”
“You’re sure?”
Her cheeks pinked, the way mine did in the sun. Or when I was embarrassed as fuck.
“I’m sure.” She stood but lingered at the edge of the bed. Even kneeling as I was, I still dwarfed her, and it made me want to protect her even more. “I just came down to check on you. You weren’t upstairs and I…” She shrugged. “I’m going to get dressed.”
Nodding, I rose from the bed. “Right. Yeah. Okay. Meet you upstairs for breakfast?”
She nodded too, then spun on her heel and raced away.
And my heart wanted to follow after.
11
KELLY
I slept with him.
When I woke up in the middle of the night, he wasn’t at his post at the foot of my bed again. The nightmare that woke me hadn’t been as bad as usual, but Lee was like a drug. I craved the comfort of his solid embrace, of his presence in my room.
Of his gentle and constant touch.
I’d fumbled through the darkened house looking for him, afraid he’d left me alone with the demons that tore my dreams to shreds. But I’d found him, down in that basement bedroom. He looked like he’d fallen to the bed and was too exhausted to get up.
It was a feeling I knew too well.
So I’d covered him with his blankets, then laid down at his side, intending just to stay for a little while, like I had on Christmas Eve. But I slept. I slept a dreamless sleep so deep, when I finally awoke, I hadn’t known where I was.
Not until I turned over and saw him, eyes closed and peace touching every inch of his face. I couldn’t bring myself to leave him. To walk back upstairs to my lonely, empty room.
To be there, without him.
It was pretty pathetic, the way I sat there, waiting for him to wake up. My face had burned when he caught me, and still, I couldn’t bring myself to go. Not until he’d cupped my cheeks and stared at me until I thought he might actually kiss me.
