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Rounding the bed, I reached for her, trying to calm her the way I had in the car. And she reacted just the same—hitting, kicking, screaming and crying and clawing at my face. Her foot got me in the balls, and I doubled over, breathing through the pain. When I thought I could move without puking, I reached out to touch her again.
After another kick, three more punches, I was finally able to grab her. I pulled her to my chest, pinning her there as I tried to wake her up.
“Kelly! Stop! You’re safe!” It was a repeat of before. The promise in my voice, the sobs from her throat. I could feel when she awoke, the tension flooding her body, the way her thrashing doubled until she heard my voice. “You’re safe with me.”
She let out a sob, her entire body going limp as she cried against me. Cried, until she fell back asleep. I tucked her in. Left the room. Almost made it back to my desk when the screaming started again.
And again.
Like some sort of fucking loop.
I didn’t have it in me, this racing up the steps. I’d gladly take beating after beating from her fists—I deserved that much. But after the fifth time I’d left the room, the fifth time I’d come racing back, I couldn’t do it anymore. This time, when she fell asleep, I settled myself at the end of her bed. Sat on the floor, waiting.
The wait wasn’t long.
Each time she cried out, I was there, even in the middle of the night. My sleep came in waves, broken by her fits.
But I would give her this. Give her anything she needed.
I owed her that.
5
KELLY
By the time I woke up, the sun was fighting heavy clouds to peek in through the half-opened blinds to my room. I debated staying in bed. Perhaps I could waste away to the nothing I’d already become in my mind. But my body didn’t agree with that plan. I still ached from… everything. The cuts across my stomach and arms from when Rhys had slashed at me as I tried to fight him off. My back and hips, from laying in a bed for the past few days. My legs, from not moving. My head and throat, from crying and screaming.
I needed caffeine if I was going to stay awake. Or something stronger if I was going to sink.
I wanted to sink. Into oblivion. Into nothingness. I didn’t want to remember what happened, to me or anyone else. All night long, I’d dreamt of it. I’d watched the man who was supposed to be protecting Jen and Levi get murdered. I’d watched Vinny fall to his death after I pushed him out of that helicopter. I’d watched Jen suffer the same fate I had.
Worst of all, I watched Rhys barge into my apartment and take me. I lay there, helpless, as he passed me off to his friends. I watched, in those nightmares, as each and every person on that boat was held down and forced into what he’d done to me.
Lifting my head off the pillow, I looked toward the foot of the bed. In my nightmares, Lee had been there. His hands were tied, his body just as unable to move as mine. He’d peeked up at me over the bottom of the filthy mattress in that room, his skin on his face dangling in shreds, telling me I’d be safe if only I could get us free.
How could I do that if I was frozen in terror? When my body refused my commands and my soul burned in unending fire?
I shook my head, then threw the covers off of me, deciding to get up. There was a small bathroom through a door on the other side of the bed. It looked like something out of a hotel room. Cups wrapped in plastic. Toothpaste and a toothbrush, both still in their boxes. Small bottles of shampoo, conditioner, and bodywash sat on a shelf above the bathtub. I stared longingly into the large, empty basin.
Maybe I could drown, the way Vinny almost had.
Shaking my head again, I turned back to the sink. Brushed my teeth and washed my face without once looking into the mirror. I didn’t want to see the woman there. I didn’t want to see what had become of her.
Out in the hallway, I took cautious steps. My legs shook and, as much as I didn’t care, I didn’t want to die falling down the stairs.
The smells hit me before I made it halfway down. Food and coffee and something else. Something almost… safe. I almost felt that way. Almost felt like that real life nightmare couldn’t affect me anymore, as long as I was here. My mouth watered, and I remembered I hadn’t eaten since lunch the day before. Hospital food that was so tasteless, it was hard to want to chew.
I nearly screamed when I made it to the kitchen and found someone standing at the stove. It took me a full minute to recognize him, and by the time I did and shook off my surprise, he’d turned and found me staring.
Lee wasn’t wearing what he had been each time I’d seen him so far. Gone were the long sleeves and black cargo pants. In their place were a gray, short-sleeved T-shirt, and black athletic shorts, bearing muscles in his arms and legs that looked bigger than my head. I swallowed down the desire to run and dragged my gaze to his face.
Then I flinched.
“What happened to you?”
He lowered his chin and cocked his head. There were cuts, like claw marks, crisscrossing his face. Like the start of my nightmare. “You don’t remember?”
“Remember what?”
