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I look up to find Charlie and Spencer standing beside us. Charlie has a cheesy as fuck grin on his face—which is so not appropriate for a funeral— as he leans against the backrest of the pew while Spencer is staring off into the guests on the other side of the church. His face scrunches in distaste and I follow his line of sight to find his cousin, Jacqueline Vanderbilt, sobbing into a tissue and making a scene.
“What a fucking joke,” Spencer scoffs. “I’m going to be hearing about this shit for years. Anyone would think they were star-crossed lovers by the way she’s carrying on.”
“Maybe they were,” I tell him. “I’m pretty sure they were supposed to get hitched and honeymoon in the Maldives for the next few weeks. Poor girl, she’s probably mourning her natural suntan. Though, that’s considering his ‘business trip’ was actually for her. Who knows if he was fucking around with other girls.”
Spencer scoffs in agreement before looking back at us. “I’ll catch you guys later,” he says with a grumble.
Charlie and Milo nod while I give him a tight smile and then watch him walk away. I look back up at Charlie to find him also looking out at the guests, only unlike Spencer, he clearly can’t find who he’s looking for. “What’s up?” I ask as his brows begin to pinch.
“Have you guys seen Jude? I don’t think the fucker is here.”
“Nah, man,” Milo says as I go quiet. “Haven’t seen him in weeks.
Charlie shakes his head, disappointment wafting off him in waves. “So fucking low,” he grumbles. “You’d think he’d show up today of all days. Colton has gone out of his way to keep the guy out of trouble and the fucker can’t even show up when his friend needs him the most.”
I feel Milo’s eyes on my face and I struggle to hold it together. “He’ll show up,” I promise him, knowing damn well that my boys won’t stop searching for him until they have him buried ten feet below. Though, when that happens, I can guarantee that Charlie won’t know about it.
“Yeah,” Charlie mutters darkly. “Well when that happens, I have a few things to say to him.”
“Don’t we all,” Milo says, his voice taking on a tone that I’ve never heard from him before. He’s usually so happy and chirpy, but not anymore. His joyful little heart has been awakened to the dark side and I don’t think he’ll ever be able to get back to the innocent view of the world he once had.
Charlie looks down at Milo with a question in his eyes. They hold each other’s stare for a short moment before Charlie finally looks away. “Alright, well, my parents expect me to sit with them and play happy family so I’ll catch you guys after the service.”
“Yeah, alright,” I say, giving him a sweet smile.
His eyes linger on my face and there’s a weird hesitation. I can’t help but feel like he wants to talk, and considering our past, that’s not exactly something I feel we should be doing. His gaze drops to Milo’s hand that’s happily resting in mine and his expression falters for a brief second before he finally starts walking away.
“Oh, girl,” Milo chuckles. “You’ve got problems.”
“Don’t I know it.”
“That boy is going to fall at your feet and when he does, you’re not going to be ready for it.”
“I know,” I say with a groan. “I’m going to have to break his little heart and it’s going to kill me. He’s too sweet for that.”
“Why would you have to break his heart? Charlie is the best kind of guy you could hope for around here. He’s sweet, he can fuck like a god, and he looks at you like you walk on water. Why bother waiting around for Colton when it’s probably never going to happen?”
An unimpressed grunt comes flying out of me. “Please, I’m not waiting around for Colton. Only a fool would be that stupid. Besides, he’s not exactly a knight in shining armor. He’s a dick who’s intent on making my life hell.”
“Exactly. Date Charlie instead. He’ll make you happy and have you screaming in the meantime.”
I scrunch up my face. The guy is good for a little fun and Milo has never been so right about the fact that he can fuck. He fucks like it’s the last thing he’ll ever do, it was incredible but … I don’t know. Something is missing. A spark? Butterflies? He doesn’t make my heart race the way Colton does and he sure as hell doesn’t mess me up.
Nic used to mess me up but the more time I spend with Colton, the more I’m beginning to forget that feeling.
The priest bows his head and steps away from Colton and just like that, the congregation quietens down. Colton looks down at his father one more time before turning and facing the crowd. His eyes settle on mine, just as they always do and within the blink of an eye, both Cora and Casey are staring at me like I’m a problem they intend to deal with.
