Fucking Colt!
“Oh yeah?” CindyLou asked, folding the bar towel and draping it over the edge of the small steel sink. “What’s that?”
I opened my mouth, but nothing came out. Like one of those nightmares you have when you want to run but your feet are glued to the ground.
“Why don’t you take a ten-minute break, CindyLou. I’ll cover for you. There’s still another half hour before we open. You’ve already been here for about an hour or so. It’s a long night. Maybe you and Mickey want to have a seat somewhere for a few minutes.”
Colt had somehow turned into a full-on adult, and I hadn’t even noticed when it happened. I guess I’d been too busy trying to avoid my own transition to notice his. He should be Darci’s father. Not me. She’d have a much better childhood with him at the helm, rather than a guy who won’t even commit to a band.
“Sure,” she said, and just like that, we were sitting at a table far enough away from the bar so that no one could hear us.
I still didn’t know what to say, so I blurted out the first thing that came into my muddled head. “I don’t know shit about being a father.”
She sat back in her chair, and I finally noticed how good she looked. Like really fucking good. She wore a white shirt, with just the right number of buttons undone to give a guy a pretty peek at her soft cleavage, black stretch jeans with one ripped knee, and black lace-up boots. Her long, red hair was pulled up on the sides but hung down her back in long waves. I flashed on that hair falling on my face while she pumped my dick with her sweet, tight pussy… I quickly tossed that vision aside, or I’d never get through this.
“And you think I knew anything about how to be a mother?”
“It’s not the same.”
“How do you figure?”
“You made her. She’s part of you. It’s instinct.”
“That might be true, but there were so many things I had to learn. There’s nothing easy about being a mother to an infant, and I had the worst role model ever. I had to learn everything on my own.”
Those words cut right through me. I’d forgotten all about what a lousy mom she had.
“My dad never taught me anything, either. I don’t even know how to be a good man, let alone someone’s father.”
“You can learn. Darci will help. She’s the sweetest baby I ever met.”
She actually glowed when she spoke about her daughter. As if Darci lit her up from the inside out.
“What if she hates me?”
“Impossible. She loves everybody. Does this mean you want to be in her life? Be her dad?”
Those words gave me a full fucking body shiver.
“It scares the shit out of me.” I sat forward and leaned on the table for support.
“That’s not an answer to my question. Do you want to be in her life or don’t you? Either way is fine with me.”
And there it was. The question of my life. The question that would change everything no matter how I answered it. The question that my own dad had shunned.
Was I man enough? Did I grow those balls Colt was talking about?
“Do you want me in her life?”
I’d mastered the art of turning the question back on the person asking it.
“Only if you commit to being a real dad to her. Someone who is always there for her birthdays and special events. Someone who will take her on bike rides and out for ice cream. Someone who can teach her how to tie her shoe or play a guitar or write a song. If not, if you can’t be all in with your daughter, you can take yourself right out of that chair you’re sitting in and get on back to where you came from. We never have to discuss this again. You’re totally free to do anything you want to do, but here’s the thing. Once you step into her life, make sure you’re there for keeps because I won’t tolerate anything less. She’s my baby cub, and I’m a fierce mama bear. You’d be making a big mistake if you think otherwise. Now what’s it going to be, Mickey? Are you all in because I won’t accept any half-ass bullshit.”
She sat back in her chair and folded her arms across her chest. This woman was Daryl’s niece, all right. I wouldn’t be surprised if she had a killer punch, just like her uncle.
“That was some speech, CindyLou. Mama bear looks good on you.”
“That’s only the beginning. Let’s not forget who I have in my corner… uncle bear… and he’ll wipe the floor with you, Mickey Finn. Make up your mind. I’m good with either way you want to go. Just pick one. But remember, there’s no turning around on either road. They only go one way.”