I keep going until my lungs hurt before I somehow end up on the Hudson Bridge that takes you out of town. I look around, wondering how Imissed the turning for mommas when I walk over to the edge of the bridge. I look down and see nothing; it's completely dark. The skies are in between night and day, so everything looks dark.
I look straight ahead, my eyes focusing on nothing.
I feel like I can hear her, my Momma.
"Baby"
I slowly climb over the ledge, still looking straight ahead. Her voice sounds panicky; she needs me.
"Baby girl, no, stop."
I reach my arm up when I hear the sounds of a vehicle and a bike.
The sounds get closer before they shut off.
"Sophie?"
Shane? He's a nice boy, always smiling at you. He'll make a good brother. I hear more voices.
"Fuck, Shane, Cal, get to the clubhouse now; get Ink; they should be in the emergency church they called for last night."
I hear the squeal of tires when the voice talks again.
"Sophie, sweetheart? It's Jizz; can you come back this way for me?"
I just look ahead as my tears fall down my cheeks and say, "I wanted to talk to momma."
He clears his throat. "I understand, sweetheart, but not like this."
I turn and look at him briefly, his dark red hair standing out while his green eyes look panicky and sad, before I look back, noticing the sun trying to come up.
"But it is; it's the only way; she needs me."
I hear him mutter "fuck" before he clears his throat again. "But what about Ink? He needs you, sweetheart; this isn't the way."
I nod. "But he'll leave me eventually. Everybody I love dearly leaves me in the end, whether it's because of illness or because they could. Like Leah, I pushed her away, and now she's leaving me."
I close my eyes and hear Momma's voice in my head again.
"Baby, please."
She needs me. I let go of the bridge with one hand when Jizz spoke again.
"Sophie, please."
I squeeze my eyes shut.
Momma, I need my Momma.
Just as I finished the thought, we heard a loud rumble full of bikes before a van squeals to a stop. Then everything's all quiet until the one person I have left, who'll probably leave me too, rasps,
"Pixie, baby, come back over the ledge." I squeeze my eyes shut. "Please, baby, I can't lose you."
I shake my head as my tears fall faster, feeling so confused before I hear some rustlings and a lot of swearing before a panicked voice comes through the early morning, making me open my eyes.
"Jackson!"
I turn my head in time to see Jackson standing next to me, making my eyes widen, and I panic.