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I go to do just that, but his voice is so desperate. I can admit that it’s so good to hear it after this time apart. It soothes the anxiety, bringing me a kind of peace I don’t know I realized I was missing. Something in me softens, and I sigh into the receiver, unconsciously clutching it tighter against my cheek as I sit down on the sidewalk in front of my house. “Fine. What do you want to say?”
“I was wondering if you’d consider coming back to Camp Trinity.”
I scoff. “Camp is over.”
“No, I know. I just…”He trails off and I can hear him sniffle on the other side of the line.“I’ve made some changes I want you to see.”
“My parents kicked me out,” I say, not too sure why I’m telling him this.
He gasps on the other end.“What? Are you okay?”
Yeah? I guess. I’m sure it’ll hit me later that I’m practically homeless, but I don’t want to talk about that now.
“Noah?”
I can hear the genuine concern in his voice, and I crack. I take a deep breath before nodding. “I’ll come back if only because I need a place to crash until I figure my shit out.”
“I’ll take it,”he says, and his enthusiasm and relief are apparent.
“I’ll be there in a few hours,” I say, knowing I have to wait until my parents go to church to sneak back inside and get my shit. I hang up without saying anything else.
I’m going to see Jarred again, but my will is strong. I won’t take him back unless he’s changed. I’ll resist the urge to beg him to kiss me and choose me and love me.
I just hope I’m not making a mistake that’ll shatter the already tattered pieces of my soul.
CHAPTER31
JARRED
I think the last time I felt this nervous was when the twins were born.
I’m standing at the entrance of the camp, smoothening down the wrinkles of my button-down shirt before scraping my nails against my smooth jaw. I wanted to look nice for Noah. I know it’s only been a couple of weeks, but it’s felt like forever since I’ve seen him.
I’ve called him every day during our time apart, but he hadn’t answered the phone until today. Something pleasant and hopeful bubbles in my stomach. He’s really coming here. I’m going to get to see him. I’ll get the chance to finally win him back, to prove that he can count on me now. I know it’s going to take everything I have to convince him that I didn’t mean the horrible things I said to him, but I need to try. If there’s even a chance that he’ll take me back, I need to give it my all.
My heart seizes when I see him coming up the camp entrance. I clear my throat and plaster a smile on my face, waving at him like an idiot as he approaches me. I almost frown because he looks just like he did when he first entered the camp—angry and bitter—but with an underlying sadness to him that wasn’t there before.
“Noah,” I breathe, licking my chapped lips as I take him in. “I’m so happy you’re here.”
“I didn’t really have anywhere else to go,” he says with a shrug after taking a long drag of his cigarette. “It was this or my car.”
I try not to let the comment sting. “But you’re here.”
“Yeah, but I’m here,” he says slowly with a heavy sigh, hazel eyes meeting mine under his lashes. He purses his lips as he looks away from me. “So, I guess I can stay in my old bunk?”
My cheeks flush. Was I an idiot to assume that he would stay with me? Yes, I was. It’s practically a miracle that he agreed to come in the first place. I nod. “Um, yeah. If you want.”
“I do,” he says quickly, rushing through his words as if they pain him. He steels himself with resolution as he looks me dead in the eyes. “You said you wanted to show me something?”
“Yeah,” I say. “Go for a walk? We’re actually coming back the way you came.”
“Fine,” he says, putting out his cigarette under his booted foot.
The hope in my chest dims. Maybe there really is no getting him back. Regardless, I’m going to persist. There is no other option than bringing him back to me. He’s everything I care about, everything I want, and I know that we belong together. He’s still carrying his duffel bag as we make our way down the trail to the parking lot of the camp. I take him to where the camp sign is, proudly displayed just where the woods thin into a scattered clearing.
“So, Camp Trinity is officially closed,” I say, fingering the tarp over the camp sign.
His eyes widen and he nearly drops his duffle. “What? They can’t do that.”
