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We got into an argument over how much we missed each other.
But in the end, he was under contract, and there was nothing he could do.
He apologized.
I forgave him.
Then I tried to forgive myself for doing this to us in the first place.
HALEY
Notes were something I learned I liked writing, just like my lists. I’d leave the girls little messages in their lunches. They started writing them back and leaving them on my bedside table to read at night. Slowly, over time, it became a tradition for us.
Then there was handling all the school things. There was an app each of the girls’ teachers used to communicate with parents. I always felt like I was falling behind. I didn’t want to risk a run-in with Lacey again, so I dealt with the carpool line in the mornings, which made me want to scream. Why did people have to get out with their kids to hug them? It was the fast drop-off line where the kids were supposed to jump out of the car.
I attended an impromptu parent teacher conference for Mila that both humbled and terrified me. Apparently, I needed to be more of a stickler for Mila practicing her letters. We used her tablet to practice every night. Seraph was a deep soul that her teachers didn’t seem to understand. They didn’t like that she drew on everything. Her desk, her arms, her jeans. She was an artist that was always trying new mediums. I found pencils in her bed, markers, and even chalk once. She drew on her bed post, her wall, her ceiling.
I had to figure out what to do about that.
HALEY
Chalkboard Paint.
I was down at Home Depot with Jeffery, of all people, picking out three gallons.
He helped paint Seraph’s room all in one weekend.
That was a surprising twist of events. Jeffery turned out to be a pretty amazing friend. It started with him finding me at the diner one afternoon, asking about where to buy salt for the lingering ice that was covering the sidewalk and driveway every morning. He brought over a bag that afternoon and then stored it in the garage for me.
Maddy kept me on time with garbage days, and would always pile all the bills into a nice neat stack when she grabbed the mail for me. Liam had left behind a card to use for everything, but I never once touched it. I paid the bills from my account, bought groceries, paid for field trips, and got the girls the new school supplies they needed.
HALEY
Liam:
Happy Birthday. I miss you.
My twenty-first birthday came and went. A single text from Liam was all I got from the man I had fallen in love with. Colson and Nora threw a party for me.
It was fun, but when I looked at my girls and realized Liam had missed yet another moment, my heart squeezed tight. I cried myself to sleep that night.
HALEY
I’d started buying little things for Liam’s house that made it feel like mine. A blanket ladder for the living room, pictures that added contrast and color to the living room. Flowers on his nightstand, and a new plush chair to go in front of his massive bay window that overlooked the street. I drank my coffee from it most mornings.
Other mornings, Jeffery would invite me to tag along as he picked up lumber or had to pick paint samples for a job he was working. It was a needed distraction, especially as the weather warmed and time finally seemed to catch up with me.
Reality hit like a stone wall. Liam was missing everything, and I couldn’t take it anymore.
HALEY
We were on our way to help Nora finish up the last few details of the wedding, which was taking place next week. Nora rode shotgun as I drove up the mountain, heading to Rae’s house for our big girls’ night. Liam was due back in a few days, so this was our last chance to really come together and do our last fittings and measure the girls for their dresses as well.
Nora filled the silence along with the girls as they all discussed the upcoming trip to California. My big brother wanted to marry his wife over the garden his mother once planted there, so we were all boarding a plane next week.
“The mountain is gorgeous today.” I leaned forward, taking in the image of Mount Macon in the distance. The house looked like it was a part of the mountain, yet there were acres of tall evergreens between the summit. Snow was still in patches on the ground up here, but with the tiny tendril of smoke coming up from the chimney, I didn’t even mind.
We unpacked our things, and by the time we reached the porch, Rae was standing on it with her arms spread wide. “Finally! I have been waiting for this all week!”
