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The days passed slow at first.
Understandably the girls missed their dad the first week, so we all slept in Liam’s bed, and I gave them one day where they got to be sad and not go to school. I decided we needed a little pampering, so I took them back to the spa up on the mountain and let them throw more coins into the fountain. This time all their wishes were about bringing their dad back.
Colson and Nora came over often, and I was always taking the girls over there.
It helped.
But we missed him.
I used my phone for the girls to FaceTime him, but the girls kept fighting over it. The next night they each had their own tablet after I did a run to the local Target twelve miles away.
Liam saved ten minutes at the end of each call to talk to me. We spoke about the girls, how they were doing, how school was going. His face was bruised and usually being held together someplace with medical tape in every call. I only asked if he was being safe and taking care of himself. He always assured me he was, but I still worried. Then he’d tell me he missed me, and I would cry, explaining how much I missed him in return.
By the end of week one, I felt like we could get through the other nine.
I was a fool.
HALEY
Mila apparentlywasprone to meltdowns, but so was Seraphina. Even Maddy got sassy from time to time.
Not going to lie, those days nearly broke me.
But we made it through. I ended up in the diner, venting to Millie and occasionally Tammy. They’d quickly become a safe place for me to gain perspective and garner advice. Millie never spoke her opinion on Liam’s leaving, but Tammy did. I had to ignore how often she spoke of him being careless or unfair, leaving me in charge of the girls. I wouldn’t have accepted if I didn’t want to do it.
Spring in Macon meant storms. Lots of them.
I wasn’t used to the strong winds, and when the power went out we huddled in Liam’s room with a flashlight and told fairytales until the girls fell asleep.
When I finally clicked the light off, I let my tears free.
There were many.
HALEY
Nora, Rae, and Millie became my lifelines as they answered my frantic texts when the girls came down with the flu.
Colson was over a few days after that when I became ill myself.
As the weeks passed, something in me began to weave together––something solid, strong and vulnerable all at once. I felt it pull together at night, after the girls went to bed, when I would pick up after them. The house was silent and I had time to really think. Day after day, it solidified even more as I fell into the mother-figure role for the girls. My mind slowly began to cut the distance between myself as an outsider and claimed the girls as my own. In my head, I went from referring to them asthegirls tomygirls, and by the time I realized I was doing it, it was too late.
I was happy.
Happy even without Liam. I missed him. I ached for him.
But Maddy, Seraphina and Mila made me feel whole.
These girls were filling in deep holes, ruts, and gaping canyons in my heart. My love for them was big, and scary—but it was vast and real too.
Then my brother proposed to Nora, and suddenly it felt like too much.
Liam was missing everything.
HALEY
Working through hurt with someone overseas is not advisable.
Liam missed me, and I missed him.
