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When I looked back up, Nik was watching me. He had clearly caught my reaction to his words, and his face had softened in response.
“Sorry,” he said quietly. “Like I said earlier, I’ve gotten out of the habit of accommodating other people. You’re right that my family let me down, but it’s a complicated situation. They weren’t the ones to act against me.” He paused, pulling his hand free and turning completely away from me. “But perhaps if they’d ever believed in me…” He sighed in frustration, running a hand through his hair.
I watched him from behind, taking in the lines of his straight back and broad shoulders. It was hard to imagine Nik ever feeling weak and helpless, but something in his manner told me he knew how those emotions felt. And I didn’t need him to tell me to know he’d hated them.
His shoulders straightened, and he turned back to me. Seeing my expression, his lips curved upward. “I can read all your emotions on your face, you know.” He said it humorously, but the tender note beneath nearly undid me.
I needed to extract myself from this situation before I did something even more outrageous.
“I need to get back,” I said hurriedly. “Amara and I are planning to continue traveling this afternoon, and she’s probably finished her meeting by now.”
Nik took a step back, nodding. His face closed off, the moment of openness between us over.
“I guess I’ll…I’ll see you on the road. Maybe. If we can—” I gestured vaguely at the trees around us before finally cutting off my stumbling words.
“Goodbye, Delphine.” There was a shadow in his eyes I didn’t want to interpret.
I fled back across the fields, telling myself I wasn’t running away. But even I didn’t believe it.
And as I went through the motions of saying our farewells to the villagers, the feeling of having disgraced myself grew. Why had I panicked and rushed off? What was Nik thinking of me? It was hard to contain my roiling thoughts while accepting a second round of thanks and polite niceties.
When our cart rolled past the last of the houses, I let out a long breath of relief.
“Are you that happy to be gone?” Amara asked.
I gave an embarrassed grimace. “I know I shouldn’t be. And if we’d been needed, I would have stayed. But being there with the villagers, it was hard not to think about the scene I made yesterday evening.”
A dreamy, reminiscent look came into Amara’s eyes. “I remember a southeastern village where I thoroughly disgraced myself in the early days of my travel. I still haven’t been back there.”
“You disgraced yourself, too?” I asked.
Amara laughed at the enthusiasm in my voice. “Don’t worry. We’re all fools in our youth, one way or another. There have to be some advantages to aging. I just hope your experience will leave less of an enduring stain than it did for me. I wouldn’t want to have to avoid this village in future, given its position on this road. I suspect we’ll be back within your apprenticeship, let alone after.”
I smiled, my mood rising now we were on the road. “I’m sure time will help. My mistakes won’t sit so heavily on our next visit.”
“Ah, optimism—another characteristic of youth.” Amara’s eyes danced as she surveyed the road ahead.
“You’re not actually that old, you know.” I narrowed my eyes, considering adding a comment about what Hayes and Clay would have to say about the matter but decided to refrain. I felt comfortable with Amara, but I wasn’t sure I felt that comfortable.
We fell into a companionable silence, and my attention moved to our surroundings. Once the village fell from view behind us, I looked for any sign of another traveler shadowing our progress, but I could see no sign of Nik. When I reached out with my power, I could sense no one behind us on the road. An occasional person was located in the surrounding fields, but I couldn’t distinguish between the local farmers and Nik, so I couldn’t identify which one was him.
I refused to consider the idea that none of them were. He had to be out there. He had promised. And I needed to show him that I could behave normally again.
When we set up camp for the night, well short of the next village, I half expected him to appear. But again there was no sign of him. I could sense another traveler out of sight, but I couldn’t be sure it was Nik. Especially given he gave no sign of stopping for the night. If it was him, he should be resting and not roaming around in the dark.
I would tell him so the next time I saw him.
“You seem unusually jumpy.” Amara looked at me with suspicious eyes. “Are you expecting someone?”
I quickly refuted the suggestion and decided to stop reaching out to the countryside around us. Ember had already disappeared into the darkness, but Amara wasn’t going to let me follow her, and there was nothing I could do to make Nik appear. He would show up when he was ready.
ChapterTwelve
Islept fitfully, but my dreams were about accidents and mangled limbs rather than the absent prince, so I couldn’t blame him for my poor rest. Amara took one look at my face when we woke and thankfully refrained from any questions.
We packed up quickly and got back on the road. As the sun rose higher in the clear blue sky, my lingering exhaustion fell away, and my mood lifted.
I took a deep breath, stretching my arms high. “There’s something about clear skies and broad, open spaces that’s freeing.”
