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But his eyes are on me as he says, ‘You gave this to me the night before I left for France.’ I completely forgot about the copy ofGreat ExpectationsI gave him. ‘I’m not sure why you’d give me a book I’d already read, but then I flicked through it. You annotated it.’ His voice catches. ‘Why?’
I want to look away from his hard gaze, but I can’t. I remember sitting in the garden, the sun beating down, Chase exclaiming as he fixed the Stagg, my highlighters flying across the lawn. ‘When you lent me the book and I saw the parts you highlighted, I remembered feeling like I was reading a diary. Your diary. It felt private. Secret. So I wanted you to have a piece of me, too. I wanted you to know that I—‘
I cut myself short, stopping myself before it’s too late. Before I make a horrible mistake.
Chase takes a step towards me. ‘Wanted me to know what, Frankie?’
‘It doesn’t matter anymore,’ I whisper.
‘Of course it fucking matters,’ he growls.
‘It doesn’t!’ He blinks, taken aback. My hands ball into fists. ‘It doesn’t matter, okay? Just leave it.’
A muscle feathers in his jaw. ‘Why.’
‘Because you’re leaving!’ I yell. Skittles and Thor startle awake and scatter behind the sofa, and I lower my voice. But it still breaks. ‘You’re leaving tomorrow. And you’re going back toher.’
Now he just seems perplexed. ‘Her?’
‘Genevieve!’ Why is he acting like he doesn’t know who his own girlfriend is?
Chase stares at me—and then he laughs.
I feel my face burn. I stomp around the island, every intention of packing my shit and living in the shed in the garden, but he steps up to me, blocking my exit.
‘Frankie—‘
‘Get out of my way.’
‘Look at me—‘
‘Move—‘
‘I’m not with Genevieve—‘
‘Please, just move—‘ I freeze as his words settle. Slowly, I crane my neck, meeting his eyes. ‘You’re not?’
He shakes his head, smiling slightly. ‘I ended things a few days before I came here.’
‘Why?’ It’s suddenly the only word I know. The only one that matters.
‘She just wasn’t who I wanted.’
‘Why?’
‘Because I know who I wanted.’
‘Why?’
‘Because I’ve been in love with this girl since the moment she farted in English.’
I don’t know who I am. My name. I can’t feel the floor beneath my feet. I stagger back against the counter. ‘She sounds gross,’ I hear myself say. ‘And you’re even grosser for wanting her.’
He grins, and damn if it’s the most devastating thing I’ve ever seen. ‘I must be really grosser, then, because I really fucking want her.’ He steps towards me slowly, his eyes rapt on mine. ‘Archer used to tease me about it, about you fancying me. I never believed it. But I started to notice you, and I realised how beautiful you were. How could someone like you want anything to do with a guy like me?But then you farted, and I saw how embarrassed you were, and it was so cute I couldn’t get you out of my head.’ Another step. ‘Knowing you liked me made me like you.’
‘You barely talked to me. You just teased me for years.’
‘And it was so easy to get under your skin.’
