AllFreeNovel
Share Us
She places her chin on her arm, tilting her head as she looks at me. “All of us want to be loved, Ronan. All of us. We may not have been treated like humans, but we are. That’s the one thing we’ve always missed. It’s the reason Brandon and Elena have been hooking up. It’s the reason Kim and Zach constantly fucking fight. Who have you had to turn to?”
I’ve had no one. Not a single soul.
“Who have you?” I ask.
Jerry chuckles. “I don’t need anyone, Ronan. I can guarantee you that. What I’m trying to say is that it’s natural to feel the pull. I’ve seen it so many times. But you just need to be careful not to lose your head, okay?”
I nod.
“If she wants you at the end of this, we can figure it out. I care about you enough to promise you that. But this isn’t a life most people want, and you have to be okay with that.”
She’s right.
Digging my hands in my pockets, I look up towards my room, my heart twisting. I’m not sure what to do.
“You know I’m older than you, right? I feel like I should be giving you advice, not the other way around.”
Jerry stands, tapping the roof of my car with her fingers. “It’s never been like that, Ronan, and you know it.” She smiles, and this time, it’s a real one.
You can say what you want about Jerry, but she cares about us.
“Do you think that you could get along with her?” I ask.
She considers this, rubbing her eyes as she yawns. “I’m sure I could find it within me to be nicer to her one day if she chooses to stick around.”
That’s good enough for me.
* * *
It’s later than I thought when I take two stairs at a time, reaching my room. Swinging the door open, I find Sydney sitting in the chair in the corner, her legs curled up under her, Shiloh in her lap.
Her eyes snap up to meet mine, and she looks sad.
“This has to stop,” she says, and I nod. It should. “You’re going to hurt me,” she adds after a second.
“Why would I hurt you?” I ask her.
“The second this ends, you’re going to wake up and realize that you’re only feeling like this because we were forced together this way. You’re going to realize that you don’t want me. Not really. That this is just some fucked up type of mutual Stockholm syndrome. I don’t want that for me, and I don’t want it for you, either.”
“I want you, Sydney.”
She shakes her head. “No, you don’t.”
“I do.”
She gets up, riffles through her clothes, and goes to head to the bathroom.
I catch her arm, spinning her into me. She makes a move to smack me, but I catch her wrist in my other hand, moving her backward as I push her aggressively onto the bed. Her eyes light with fire.
“I’m not going to do a single thing you don’t want me to do, so tell me now if you want me to leave you alone. But all I’m going to tell you is that I’ve been picturing this for the last two days. I don’t know why I feel this way, and I know it’s wrong, but the thought of you not being mine kills me.”
“It’s this arrangement, I—”
“Can you shut up?” I ask her. “I’m not saying this is love, Sydney. But this is desire, and I know you feel it too. The way you react whenever I touch you,” I run my fingers up her leg, and she trembles, her mouth falling open. “The way you seek the feeling of my skin on yours whenever you’re uncomfortable. Do you understand that I feel the same way?”
Her eyes open wide, her tongue peeking out as she licks her bottom lip. She props herself up on her forearms, watching me stand above her. My chest rises and falls heavily, my eyes piercing hers.
“What do you want me to do?” she asks.
