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I glanced at him. He looked like a dark god tonight, dressed in an all black suit that could possibly impregnate you just by glancing at him.
But his features were etched with a mixture of longing and resignation. The anguish in his eyes mirrored my own, and for a moment, I wondered if we were both doomed to this unending cycle of pain.
The car pulled up to the grand entrance of the club where the party was being held, music and laughter spilling out into the night. It was a stark contrast to the turmoil within me, a reminder that life went on even when everything felt broken.
“Blake, don’t let what’s going on ruin your night. Please try and have fun,” he pleaded as his hand stroked my cheek. It was a habit that I leaned into it, taking comfort from his touch…just for a second.
I let him brush a kiss against my lips, and I felt the soft touch…all the way to my fucking soul.
The door opened and I was jarred back to reality, to remembering all that had happened. Ari had that way about him, the ability to make me forget myself.
I guess that's why I missed all the signs about what he was doing.
I was caught in his spell.
The bad part was, I was wishing I was still in it.
We stepped out of the car and made our way inside, Ari’s hand burning into my lower back.
I immediately asked for a drink the second we got to the bar, and he nodded approvingly. He’d told me to enjoy myself after all.
And maybe I was going to.
Why shouldn’t I drink tonight? Ineverallowed myself to truly let go. With the Shepfields, it was never allowed.
On my own, I'd never felt safe enough to do so.
But tonight....tonight I wanted to.
I took shot after shot with the crew, feeling like a fun person for once.
A free person.
And...it was freedom. To let my inhibitions flow out of me with the alcohol and atmosphere. To stop worrying about how I looked, or what I’d done wrong. Just for one night, I could forget all the bullshit and shut up my own inner demons.
I loved it.
It was like my problems didn’t exist.
I danced next to Ari, hands combing through my hair, hips swaying, basking in the fact that the alcohol shoved away all my turmoil over what Ari had done...how our relationship had started.
Right now, I didn't care about any of that, and I didn't want to care.
I just wanted us.
My head tipped back against his shoulder and fanned my heated face, and he looked down at me as his hands held my waist. "You okay, sunshine?"
"I'm great," I said, slurring slightly. "Never better."
"Do you want to slow down?"
I shook my head. "Nope."
I didn't. I wanted to keep everything flowing. The alcohol, the freedom, the fun.
He stared at me, a strange expression on his face, like he was debating something. But he didn’t try to stop me.
A trio of models who had been in some past famous Renege campaigns came over, surrounding me. They were big names, people I’d have had trouble talking to if I was sober because I was so intimidated. But not now. Not tonight. Tonight they were my new best friends.
