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Ben gets Google maps up on his phone and locates Inverness. ‘Ten hours through the night. Far enough for you?’
‘Hold on.’ I find the map on my phone and type in Lochgillan. Wait for it to upload, wondering if I’ve spelt it right. ‘Gotcha!’ I say, showing Ben the marker near the top of the North West coast. My heart thumping hard.
‘Lochgillan?’ Ben looks puzzled. ‘Why the hell…?’
I keep him hanging while I look at buying coach tickets online. It’s a job to keep my fingers steady on the screen.
‘Come on, don’t be a bastard!’ I mutter at the website.
‘Two hours on the bus from Inverness to Lochgillan,’ Ben catches up on his phone.
‘Yes! It can be done.’ I punch the air. ‘They email you a ticket.’
‘What?’
‘Can you do me a massive favour, Ben? Just, if you could transfer me forty quid for the fare? I’ll cash Gran’s cheque as soon as I hit a bank and get it back to you.’
‘You want to go to Lochgillan tonight?’ Ben rubs his brow.
‘Inverness tonight. Then I’ll pretty much have all day to sort out my next move.’ I sound a lot more confident than I feel.
Ben hits light bulb moment. ‘I get it, you’re going to find your dada?’ He clutches at my arm. ‘Init, bro?’
‘Well, kind of. Lochgillan’s where his ancestors come from, and he said, “I’ve a yen to make my home there”.’ I mime quotation marks around the phrase. ‘I literally can’t let it rest, like, the idea he exists. I don’t even know if I care but I might as well try?’ And that is pretty much it. But now I’ve decided, something’s jumping up inside me, raring to go.
Ben’s worried look isn’t inspiring confidence, however.
‘Look, if he’s not there I’ll have an adventure exploring my ancestral home. You’re the one saying I should get away, you and the rest of the universe?’
Ben shuffles, looks at his feet. ‘Mate, I’m sorry about what I said earlier. You are fine to sleep on my floor, you know?’
‘No, you’re right. I need to get my arse moving. And there’s a fucking coach going to Inverness in twenty minutes. Gotta be a sign, no?’
‘If you’re sure you’ll be OK?’
I nod. ‘If you’re cool with lending me the money, we need to get a move on.’ I jerk my head to look at the bus station clock.
So, we sit on the bench and piss about making transfer, booking ticket. The email pings in with seven minutes to spare.
‘Hang on, two secs?’ Ben waves me to stay as he speeds off around the corner.
I watch as the Wakefield coach drops off its passengers: a black woman in tight cream dress with a little girl, eyes wide and dazzled like she’s just woken up; white couple in dark hoodies, flashes of nose rings and long dyed hair. The coach leaves in a trail of exhaust and I take a lungful of this scent of adventure, staring at the deepening blue of the sky as the streetlights buzz into action. I can’t stop my leg jigging.
Ben comes rushing back, big grin as he produces crisps, a couple of Mars Bars and a bottle of Coke from his backpack.
‘Thought you’d need some supplies? And, yeah, take this, you might need some spare cash.’
He gives me thirty quid and I drop the crisps trying to put it in my wallet.
Ben empties out his backpack into his pockets. ‘Take the bag as well. I’ve got another one at home.’
I stuff the things into the bag and get up. I’m literally too choked to speak as fling my arms around him.
‘Hey, you’ll be giving me ideas, man!’ Ben pushes me back, still holding the tops of my arms.
‘Thanks Ben, you’re the best.’
There’s a coach approaching. INVERNESS in LED above the windscreen.
