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Hussain stands just inside the door: his grey suit hanging off his slight frame, eyes darting. Our new Apprentice aka Jeanelle’s personal dog’s-body.
Jeanelle waves Husssain to set up his flipchart in the far corner. Charlie jumps up to give him a hand.
‘Uh, hmm,’ Jeanelle signals for him to stop. ‘This is a development opportunity for Hussain.’
Charlie raises an eyebrow and sits down, leaving Hussain to battle on. He gets the stand up but struggles with the paper. He’s been given a pad with holes in the wrong places. I get Blu-Tac from the cupboard and offer it to him. He takes it hastily and sticks the paper up while Jeanelle glares at me.
‘Right, I’ll just get Pauline then.’ She sends me another look as she exits, re-entering a few seconds later steering Pauline to a chair.
Pauline looks down at her hands. Oh, God, I feel mean, why on earth didn’t I apologise?
‘Now,’ says Jeanelle. ‘I’ve asked Hussain to help with an exercise on customer relations. Something for him to capture for his NVQ.’
Hussain grins, awkward.
‘So,’ Jeanelle casts her eye about, ‘Rehana. Give us a scenario where you are the customer making a phone call.’
Rehana frowns, desperately thinking.
Jeanelle cocks her head. ‘Anyone?’
‘Phoning the bank?’ Charlie offers.
‘Excellent, an experience we all share. Hussain, write, Customer Experience – Phoning the Bank. Rehana, what’s the first thing that happens when you phone the bank?’
‘Um, there’s like an automated voice telling me to key in my bank account number….’
Hussain starts writing – automated voice.
‘Yes, yes,’ Jeanelle waves impatiently. ‘But when you get to speak to someone?’
‘They say, good morning Miss Ahmed, how can I help you?’
‘Yes, but before that?’ Jeanelle’s irritation increases visibly.
‘That’s what they say at my bank,’ Rehana whispers.
Hussain writes: Good morning Miss Ahmed, how can I…
‘Hussain just stop a minute. What is the FIRST THING they say when you phone the bank.’ Jeanelle’s practically jumping in her seat.
We look around at each other, completely clueless.
Jeanelle lays her hands flat in a gesture of calming. ‘The point is, they will ask for your details before they ask what you want. This is a typical customer experience.’
‘And it’s one everyone hates. Are you really suggesting we use the banks as a model?’ I ask.
‘The Council now insist their staff have the same script for answering the phone.’
‘We don’t even work for the Council.’
‘I think you’ll find they hold the purse strings,’ Jeanelle’s smug reply.
‘Not for much longer by all accounts,’ Charlie mutters.
Jeanelle stiffens. ‘We need to come into line on this. I’m suggesting ‘Good morning, you’ve reached the Homestay Helpline, Jeanelle speaking. Please can I take your details before we start.’ Then you get their name, full address, telephone, email, date of birth, ethnic origin…?’
‘We’re talking about vulnerable people who we’re trying to help stay in their homes. Let them ask their question, reassure them we can help, then take their details.’ My voice getting louder.
