Chi nodded. “I’m exhausted, but my brain won’t stop. For some reason I was thinking of your mom.”
“She went to bed. She has the flu or something. I’m not sure what it is, but she’s tired. I put my son to bed, and I’m taking a little walk down the beach, but then I told her I would watch for the last guests to come in.”
“Oh. Okay,” Chi said, feeling disappointed.
“If you want to walk with me, you can,” Sunday offered, as though reading her mind. For some reason, she didn’t want to be alone.
“Do you mind?”
“Not at all. I just needed out of the bed-and-breakfast for a little bit. I can’t help but think about what happened, and...you know how you always want the best for your kids?”
“I’m sure you do.”
“I’m sorry, you don’t have children.”
“I think if I did, I would agree with you wholeheartedly. Of course you want the best for your kids. We do everything we can to give them everything they need.”
“I think I do. But... I don’t know. I just...my ex-husband was wealthy. He came from a wealthy family. I thought that meant prestige and I don’t know, like money solved all the world's problems. But it doesn’t. In some ways, it just makes them worse.”
“Really?” Chi had heard that before, but she couldn’t say for sure that she agreed with it. After all, in her experience money solved problems.
“Up to a certain point, I think it does. It’s true that money doesn’t buy happiness. Once your bills are paid, once you have the ability to buy groceries without worrying about whether or not you can afford them, you know, the basic necessities. That’s really all you need. Anything after that, doesn’t really affect your happiness.”
“And you know?” Chi said, thinking that there was probably more to the story.
“A little I guess. After all, it doesn’t make you happy in the long run to do things that are wrong.”
Chi knew that had to be true. Knew James wasn’t going to be happy cheating on his wife forever. That it didn’t matter how much money he had, he didn’t seem to be happy with anyone. Not his wife, not Chi, not the woman he was with. Nothing satisfied him.
Maybe that’s the way she was a little bit.
“You know, I guess I can relate to that some.”
“Relate to not being satisfied no matter how much money you have?”
Chi laughed. “I’ve never had that problem. Having too much money. But I was thinking I could relate to the idea that I always want more. Whatever I have, it’s not enough. And I’m not sure why.”
“Are you trying to prove something?” Sunday asked, and that seemed like a wise question.
“I think I might be. That... That I’m worth something. Somehow I think money makes that happen. But it doesn’t, does it? Being rich doesn’t make your character any more valuable than being poor. Money doesn’t affect your character.”
“And that’s what really matters.”
“Yeah. Actually, maybe being rich makes it easier to have less character.” She wasn’t sure about that, but she could kind of see it.
“How so?” Sunday asked, sounding baffled.
“Well, if you have enough money that you don’t have to worry about whether or not you’re going to have your bills paid, then your attention goes to other things. Like a romantic partner that you’re not married to.”
“Maybe that’s more alluring. Because I can see how if you're not worried about your bills, you have room in your mind for other things. Things that might not even take you away from the Lord, but that are intrinsically wrong. After all, when you don’t need God, you have a tendency to not pay any attention to Him at all. But, when you need Him, all of the sudden you're giving up the things that you don’t really need, and turning toward Him.”
“Yeah. I guess that’s what I was saying too.”
“But if you’re poor, wouldn’t you be tempted in other ways?”
They had reached the end of the sidewalk and walked through the deep snow toward the beach while Chi thought about that.
“Maybe you would be tempted to steal? Or cheat your employer or be dishonest? Or lie in order to get money.”