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“I’m just looking at the big picture. If I hadn’t made a move, we wouldn’t be friends. If I hadn’t pushed, you wouldn’t be doing more than thinking about the youth center. Did I do something that pushed you to asking me to be your girlfriend?” I studied him as his gaze slid away from mine. My heart sank. “I did, didn’t I? It was going out with Luke. You just don’t want someone else playing with your best friend.”
“Kayla. That’s not the case. Maybe you dating Luke was the wakeup call I needed, but it doesn’t change the fact that I want to be with you.”
“Doesn’t it?” My mouth was dry. Rather than keep sitting at the table wishing desperately for water, I got up and moved across the kitchen to get some. I was as at home here as I was in my own apartment. Because Austin was my best friend and his sister was close behind. I was basically their third sibling.
I got down a glass and filled it from the dispenser in the fridge door. I didn’t go back to the table, but took a long, cold drink and then topped off the glass.
“Maybe we’re taking things too fast.” I felt sick. It had to be the cold water on an empty stomach, didn’t it? I sat back down across from Austin and put my glass on the table, clenching both hands around the cool cylinder.
“I don’t understand.” A hint of panic flared in his eyes and he reached across the table for my hand.
I shifted out of reach. “I want to marry a man who believes I’m worth pursuing. Not someone who loves me because we get along and I’m convenient.”
“That’s not—”
“I know you think that.” I cut him off. If he started talking, chances were high that I’d lose my nerve. And this was too important. “But I’m not sure it’s true. I’ve always been around and ready for whatever trickle of time you were willing to give me. And when I started to get tired of that, I shifted things and spent more time with Megan. And you know what? You didn’t seem to care. You adjusted your stride and things went on just fine. Until it looked like I was moving on with Luke.”
“Kayla…” His voice was strained and quiet.
I shook my head. “So here’s the deal. I’ll go out with you, when you ask. And I’ll go out with Luke, if he asks. I’ll help you with the youth center. I’ll help him with the Mexico trip—or whatever the alternative ends up being for spring break if that falls through. And we’ll see what happens.”
“What do you mean ‘see what happens’? I don’t like this.”
I managed a slight smile. “I’m not keen on it myself, but I think it’s probably best. I need to know if you really love me. Or if you just don’t want someone else to have the chance.”
The front door slammed, saving me from having to listen to Austin’s reply. He could be persuasive, when he wanted to be. This might be one of those situations.
“I think that’s a new record.” Megan set the paper bag of takeout food on the table beside me and headed to the sink. “I must’ve hit a special pocket in the traffic, because I got there and back in about five minutes under my previous best time. What are you two doing?”
I absolutely didn’t want to talk about that with Megan. Not yet. Maybe not ever. I met Austin’s gaze for a moment and caught his subtle head shake. At least we were on the same page there.
“I’m going to open a youth center.” Austin leaned back in his chair. “Kayla’s going to help me with all the details.”
“Yeah?” Megan finished washing her hands and reached for the kitchen towel that hung on the handle of the oven. “That’s great. You can tell me all about it while we eat. I might have some ideas, you know.”
“Counting on it.” Austin stood and started opening the bag of food. “Are we eating out of the containers or do we need plates?”
“Plates. Geesh, Aus, we’re not savages.” Megan shook her head as she opened the cabinet where they kept their plates. “I also declined plastic forks, because we have metal ones here. And those always work better.”
The casual sibling banter soothed my nerves and I started to relax. I should probably offer to help, somehow, but they honestly had it under control. And I wasn’t positive my legs would hold me yet. Ultimatums weren’t my typical style. Austin knew that. But this was too important to just slide into.
I wanted to spend the rest of my life with someone who was going to fight for me. Someone who wanted to be there, even when it was hard.
I honestly believed Austin was that man. God and I had had a lot of conversations on the topic, and He’d never yet made it seem like I was wrong. But I might’ve missed it.
Maybe Luke asking me out was a wakeup call for both Austin and me.
Megan handed me a plate and fork then sat beside me. “Have you started looking for property yet?”
“Actually…” His glistening eyes latched onto mine. “I think I already found it.” Looking away, continued speaking, “I’ll have to tear everything down that’s there, but I hope when it’s finished it’s going to end up being the right choice.”
My throat closed at Austin’s words. They didn’t sound nearly as hopeful and optimistic as they had earlier this evening.
What if, in this quest to find a husband who loved me enough to pursue me, I ended up losing my best friend?
14
AUSTIN
