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There was no way he was letting her stay by herself tonight and wake up on Christmas morning alone. He’d done it for years and it didn’t bother him.
But he wasn’t a parent either.
“And you do a good job with that,” he said.
She looked over at him and he could see her eyes getting a little glossy. “I’m sorry. I don’t want to be a buzz kill today. I’m like this for all Christmases when I don’t have Eli with me in the morning. Though I do get to spend time with him.”
“But there is something about your child waking up and running toward the tree to see what Santa left for him, right?”
“That’s it,” she said. “He knows Santa comes to both houses. I know he’s going to be spoiled rotten with Jeff and his parents today. Then he’s going to come here. He might get some of the same things because Jeff and I never talk about gifts.”
“Does that matter?” he asked.
“No,” she said. “It doesn’t and it shouldn’t, but it’s still hard for me.”
“Eli knows you love him. It’s not about possessions for him.”
“I know that,” she said. “He is going to have fun tonight and tomorrow.”
“Do you know what he’s doing tonight?” he asked.
“He’s at Jeff’s parents’ house. They will open gifts there. I think Jenna and Carly are there too. At least Eli commented about seeing Carly. Tomorrow will just be at Jeff’s, and most likely with Jenna. Not sure about Carly. I only know what Eli says and it seems Carly’s father has her too. It’s not my business and I don’t want to pry.”
“Because Jeff will pry into your life?” he asked.
“No. I don’t think so. He never has before. I think it’s more important to him to know that I’m miserable.”
He didn’t like hearing that and it was a knife to his heart that she felt that way. “Are you miserable though?”
She started to cry and it broke his heart. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to insult you. It’s not that. I’m just emotional. I thought I was getting better and I appreciated that you wanted to spend time with me so I wasn’t alone, but now I’m thinking maybe it wasn’t a good idea. You’re just going to think I’m a basket of drama.”
“Stop,” he said, pulling her into his arms. “I don’t think that. And I wish you would stop worrying that I’m going to. I know you and I like who you are. You’re a beautiful person inside and out. A perfect mother.”
“Perfect?” she asked with a watery smile. She got a tissue to blow her nose.
“Perfect to me,” he said. “Everyone makes mistakes, but you own them and learn from them. More importantly, you try and put Eli first. If it hurts more, you take that pain so that your son doesn’t have to. That is what perfect is for me.”
“No one should have to take the pain, but I think most parents do that naturally. And I think you’re pretty perfect too.”
“Really?” he said, grinning. “Do tell. What’s so perfect about me?”
She started to laugh and that was exactly what he was trying to do.
“Well,” she said. “You put up with me.”
“Roni,” he said.
“In a good way. I meant you give me time when a lot of other men wouldn’t do that. You give me space when I need it. You let me set the pace with my son and everything else going on even though I know deep down you’d like everyone to know we are dating.”
He would like others to know but knew she wasn’t ready for Eli to know yet. In his mind though they could still keep it from Eli if they had to.
“Tell me more about today,” he said.
“It was hard,” she said. “Drake figured it out.”
“Figured what out?”
“That we are dating. I mean he didn’t come out and say it, but he laughed. I guess I’m not as good as I thought at hiding things and he was the first to put your name and mine together in the same sentence. Then he caught a look I sent Megan and he laughed.”
