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“She looks amazing as always, Rosie. How did she get it anyway?” Em has brushed me off each and every time I have asked, so maybe Rosie will give me more information.
“When I stayed at Grandpa George’s, she got it. I heard him on the phone to Mommy that night when he thought I was asleep. He wanted to take her to the hospital, but she wouldn’t let him.” My body stiffens.
“I’m glad Grandpa George is looking after her.” I try to keep my tone light, not wanting Rosie to think anything is wrong.
“Do you think Mommy is beautiful, Ben?” Well, I guess our conversation is taking a slight turn.
“Very beautiful. The most beautiful woman I have ever met,” I say, smiling as my gaze finds Em again.
“I think she likes you too.” Rosie giggles, almost like she can sense I’m staring at her mother.
“Really? What makes you say that?” I ask, amused as a little smirk pulls on her lips.
“She laughs more. Her cooking is better, and she sprays a lot more perfume before you visit.” I huff out a laugh at that.
“Well, I’m glad I can help with the better cooking, and your mom always smells amazing, Rosie.” Lavender will never be the same again. “Do you like me spending time with you and your mom?” I decide to ask, curious to know if I have her approval. And a bit nervous I might not for some reason.
“Yes! And don’t tell Mommy, but you are way better at reading Cinderella than her. Plus, I have more fun swimming with you too,” Rosie says in an excited tone, and my pulse rate slows back to normal, relief settling over me. As I hold her in my arms, I start to think whether this could be my life. Kids, excursions, work in the city, Em and Rosie to come home to. I have never given a relationship much thought before, especially after Sasha, but I can see it. And I like what I see.
“Time to move, class. This way,” George says in his I mean business voice and all the kids turn their attention from the tanks. I put Rosie down, but keep hold of her hand, and she grips her cane in the other. The cane looks old, held together by tape, and almost too small for her. It’s upsetting to me. Where the hell is her father, and why doesn’t he contribute to her needs?
Em pushes Gavin in his chair, and I can tell it is hard for her as she’s using her whole body to do it. Gavin’s not a small boy by any stretch of the imagination.
“Here, let me,” I offer, passing Rosie over to Em. As I give it a push, it’s definitely not as easy as it looks, so I’m glad Em doesn’t argue. Instead, she smiles my way, mouthing, “Thank you.” I give her a smirk and a wink, watching her face soften even more, before Michael pulls on her sleeve and they start signing again.
“Right, we are going to head up to level one to see the starfish pond,” George says, pulling my attention, and a few of the kids giggle and gasp. Clearly, the starfish pond is a highlight. “Gavin, Rosie, and Michael, you go with Miss Carr and Mr. Rothschild in the elevator, the rest, please follow me.” He takes them up a flight of stairs with a few other parent helpers, and I hear Gavin huff from where he is sitting in front of me.
“How are you doing there, Gavin?” I ask as I look down at him, wishing I could help him somehow.
“Fine.” He waves me off, and I let him be. There’s got to be a better way for him to get around. Being wheelchair bound must be frustrating, especially when he’s still able to move around a bit without one.
My eyes flick to Rosie, and I watch her take a few tentative steps forward with her cane, touching the braille panel next to the lifts. The confident child I have seen previously is no longer there, and in her place is a shy, scared young girl.
“What are you reading, Rosie?”
“It’s telling me that we are on ground level, and that on level one is where the fish are,” she whispers.
“I can’t believe it tells you all that with those dots,” I say, mesmerized by the situation. I look at the dots on the silver panel, noticing it’s scratched and dented, with no care taken for something so important. I swallow the tension rising in my body as I think about my own building… I’m not even sure we have braille panels. That needs to change, along with accessibility. I am sure we have the minimum requirements, but that doesn’t mean the minimum is what we should have. I make a mental note to talk to my brothers about some changes.
The elevator arrives, and we all pile in. Gavin’s chair is hard to maneuver, so much so, we end up facing the back wall, with Em, Rosie, and Michael all standing to the side next to us. The kids chat happily as the elevator moves at a snail's pace up to the next floor.
“So how many work calls have you ignored already this morning?” Em asks, a small smile on her face as she looks up at me.
“About a hundred,” I joke, even though it feels like it. My leg is permanently vibrating due to my phone.
“Thank you for coming. We would have had to cancel the trip if you couldn’t make it,” she says, and I see the first signs of exhaustion on her face.
Understanding washes over me at exactly how difficult it is for parents to bring their kids out to simple places like this when they have impairments, whether it’s their vision, hearing, or something else. George is here, as are a few parents and caretakers, yet I have been run off my feet, helping kids walk, eat, and find their way around. I even took Gavin to the bathroom in this chair, which was a full job unto itself.
My need to touch her overrides my sensibilities at the moment, so I grab her hand, pulling her to me.
“Ben…” She gives me a warning, her eyes flicking to the kids, who are all too enthralled in talking about whether they are going to touch a starfish or not to bother noticing us.
“Get used to it, Em. It has been at least thirty minutes since I’ve had my hands on you. That is way too long in my book,” I say, bringing my lips to her forehead and kissing her quickly.
She huffs out a small laugh as her arms curl around my waist and she tucks into my side.
“You make me laugh.” Shaking her head with a smile, the elevator comes to a stop at our floor.
