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“No.”
“Want me to back up and run him over?”
“Just go, please.”
Ryan did as she asked, but when Merry turned back, Clark still stood in the same spot she’d left him.
Chapter 15
Clark
Clark stood on his front porch, his head pounding from lack of sleep. He took several sips of his coffee, his gaze straying to Merry’s house. He’d left his window open so he could hear her come home, hoping to catch her before she went into the house and try again to apologize. He knew he’d fucked up the minute he walked out of the bar, but he’d been so shocked when he’d spotted that maroon dress, the only one in the place, being worn by Merry. All of her friends staring at him expectantly, watching for his reaction.
He’d panicked. He wasn’t proud of it, but it had been too much. Letting people in wasn’t natural to him. Online with KnottyGirl25, it was easier. The easiest experience with a stranger he’d ever had.
Except for Merry. Merry, who’d lured him out with laughter. He’d relaxed around her as much as he’d ever done with anyone besides Sam and Jace. He’d wanted her in a way he’d never wanted any woman. It wasn’t the rush of lust he’d experienced with Patrice or the need to feel close to someone else for a few hours. His desire to be around Merry had everything to do with her. And taking that step with Merry could have not only jeopardized his job but their budding friendship.
Which was why when the woman he’d been waiting to meet turned out to be the one he’d been fighting not to want, he’d reacted irrationally. Deep down, he knew Merry wasn’t cruel. Wasn’t the type to toy with a man for her amusement. He’d sat in that parking lot for almost forty minutes kicking himself, the last two weeks playing back in his head like scenes out of a bad romantic comedy and Clark didn’t think it was funny. Especially when he’d watched Merry come out and he’d needed to say the right things, but instead everything that came out of his mouth made what he’d done worse.
When he heard the truck that picked her up pull in last night, he’d gotten out of bed and into his boots. He’d planned to walk over after they left and try again. No excuses.
He’d barely made it past the porch when he realized the truck was still there. He’d ducked behind his Jeep when he heard Merry talking to someone, the second voice faint but distinctively male. Clark knew the involuntary flash of jealousy wasn’t fair, but that didn’t keep him from lying awake half the night, listening for the guy to leave. Now, he could clearly see the other vehicle next to Merry’s, a black lifted truck with round headlights. He scowled at the truck over his coffee cup rim, taking another gulp of the bitter brew. Her taste in men hadn’t changed at all, but then she’d said as much over email.
God, that last email she sent. He had no right to be jealous of anything she did. He’d been the asshole, an idiot. In a matter of moments, he’d let all of his issues and insecurities bubble to the surface and destroy his own potential happiness.
He’d tried to write all of his feelings down in email form, but had no way to send it. He’d copied and pasted the words into a document and printed them out, tempted to drop them in her mailbox, but there was no guarantee she’d read it and he couldn’t blame her.
KnottyGirl25 and Merry. One and the same. How had he never considered the possibility? They’d both made him feel more than any woman had before.
The door opened to his left and Sam blew out a breath. “Brrr. What are you doing out here?”
“Nothing. Enjoying the quiet.”
Sam followed his gaze and smirked, holding up the coffee carafe. “Need more caffeine for your stakeout?”
Clark turned his scowl on his brother, who chuckled, pouring the coffee into his own cup. “Fine, not a stakeout. We’re just listening to the birds. The breeze through the trees. The—”
“Will you shut…the fuck…up.”
“I believe that’s a dollar to the swear jar, my dude.”
Clark didn’t respond, rubbing a hand over his face, the prickles of his unshaven face scratching his palm. “I messed up, Sam.”
“I figured, since you’re out here alone and there is a big boy toy parked at Merry’s. Things didn’t go well with your mystery woman?”
“It was Merry.”
“What was Merry? Your date?” Sam cocked an eyebrow at his nod. “Then why the hell are you here and not there?”
“I walked out. I saw her, turned, and went back to my Jeep.” Clark pulled the letter he wrote out of his pocket and handed it to his brother. “It’s all in there.”
Sam kept silent as he read, his gaze racing over every line, giving nothing away. Clark tapped his foot impatiently as he waited for him to grunt or scoff. Something.
Instead he folded the letter and handed it back to Clark.
“Nothing to say?”
“I do, but I’m processing.”
