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“And how did you fuck up?” Reed asks, earning himself another glare from Cole, which he ignores once again.
“It’s complicated. You guys remember all the bullshit with my father’s takeover, right?”
They both nod. Of course. It wasn’t really that long ago.
“Well, I was… busy,” I say, cringing internally at how lame that excuse is. “And I just… let things drift. Then with my grandmother’s stroke, everything got… difficult.”
“What did you do, break up with her?” Reed scoffs.
I shrug, unwilling to directly answer.
“You’ve got to be kidding me,” he groans.
“And I know that she doesn’t want to talk to me,” I continue, starting to deal out hands to all three of us. “Because I called her, and she told me. She’s moving on. She’s done.”
“And, what? Now you’re just sitting here, pining?” Cole folds his arms, a skeptical look on his face. “That’s how it’s going down?”
“More or less.” I take a sip of whiskey—bigger than I intended—and scoop up my hand.
Neither Reed nor Cole have touched their cards. They’re both staring at me like I’ve grown a second head.
“What?” I snap at them. “Come on. Let’s play.”
I need to give myself something to do. Something to occupy my thoughts, otherwise I’ll go crazy thinking about Sophie. I don’t know much about moving on, but I do know that you’re supposed to keep yourself distracted.
“First, let me get this straight,” Cole says slowly. “You broke up with Sophie because you were being a fucking idiot. Then you regretted it later, called her, she’s done with you, and you’re just… moping?”
“Yeah,” I say impatiently, a little bit of heat entering my voice. I’m not frustrated with Cole so much as I am with myself, really, but I’d rather he didn’t keep dragging this out. I already feel like enough of an idiot without Cole and Reed piling on.
Reed raises an eyebrow. “This is nuts,” he comments. “When have you ever given up on something you wanted?”
“This isn’t like you,” Cole agrees. “And frankly, it’s weird.”
“I don’t know if I like spineless Declan,” says Reed. “Where the fuck is my boy, huh? Maybe you’ve seen him somewhere—Declan Wright? CEO Declan Wright? The guy who’s moved fucking mountains? Who doesn’t give up on what he wants?”
He snaps his fingers in front of my face, as if trying to break me out of a trance.
I lower my cards, gritting my teeth. They’re right, and I know they are. The helplessness I’m feeling right now—it’s something I’ve felt before, of course. It’s something everyone has felt at some point in their lives. I’m just not used to wallowing in it. In the past, it’s always been easy to push myself past it, figure out what I have to do, and do it.
The realization sparks a little bit of determination in me. I’m stuck on this because I’m not done with Sophie. Those feelings haven’t gone anywhere, and no amount of distraction will force them out.
But at the same time, I know that I can’t just barge into her life and demand that she take me back.
“What am I supposed to do?” I scowl over at Reed. “Go over to her apartment and break down the door?”
She’s way too fucking stubborn for that—and I’ve already pushed her away too many times. I’ve hurt her too badly for her to want to let me back in.
“I don’t know, man.” Reed sighs. “But you’d better figure out something, because it sucks to see you like this.”
I nod slowly, reaching for my drink. He’s right. They both are. This isn’t how I handle things.
I’ve worked hard for what I want all my life.
And I know what I want more than anything in the world.
Sophie.
If I truly want her back, if I want her love, her trust… I’ll have to earn it.
