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I leave the building and hail a taxi. It’s a sunny day with clear skies, but it’s cold, and I don’t feel like walking, even for the short distance between the subway station and my apartment. I climb into the back of the cab, give the driver my address, and pull out my phone to call Reagan.
“Hey, Sophie! How did it go?”
“Not bad,” I say, leaning against the window. “I have a good feeling about this one.”
“That’s great. I’m happy for you! What was the interview like?”
“Honestly, it was simple. I didn’t feel tripped up even once, and the interviewer was smiling the whole way through. Plus, Gigi gave me a great recommendation.”
“Of course she did. Any company would be lucky to have you!”
“Thanks,” I say, trying to muster up the smile again. “I really appreciate all of your support, Reagan.”
“Anytime. I’m just glad the job search went smoothly.”
“Me too. I’ll see you later, okay?”
“Yup! Let me know if you want to get lunch tomorrow.”
“Will do.” I hang up the call, leaning back against the faux leather seat covers. I tip my face up toward the sun outside the windows.
Everything is falling into place. I desperately want to find peace and happiness in this moment. My interview went well. My new job will be a decent position, doing work I like. Reagan is there to support me.
But deep down, my heart is still broken, and I don’t know if anything I do can fix that. No matter how hard I try to pretend that everything is normal, it’s not, and it might be a long time before it is.
* * *
Declan
With a triumphant flourish, Reed throws his hand of cards down on the table. “Read ’em and weep, motherfuckers.”
Cole and I both lean forward to peer at Reed’s four jacks. Then we look up at each other, eyebrows raised.
“Well, shit.” Cole sighs, tossing his own cards down on the table. Half-heartedly, I do the same.
At a friendly poker game with the guys, it doesn’t really matter who wins, but of course, there’s the all-important ritual of being a good-natured sore loser. Cole starts in on it immediately.
“He’s probably cheating. Fuckin’ scumbag, with four of a kind.” He elbows me. “What do you think? Should we kick him out?”
I purse my lips and breathe out through my nose. Normally, I’d jump in on the teasing, but tonight, I just don’t have the energy. “Yeah, I guess,” I say, giving it at least a little bit of effort.
Cole pauses, narrowing his eyes at me, and shoots a swift glance over at Reed, who shrugs.
“What?” I ask testily.
“You okay, man?” Cole takes a sip of his whiskey. “You seem kinda out of it.”
“Plus, you look like shit,” Reed adds helpfully. Cole glares at him, and he holds up his hands. “What? We were both thinking it. I wasn’t gonna say anything unless it came up.”
There’s a pause, and silence hangs between us. Cole and Reed stare at me expectantly, and I sigh, reaching out to rake the loose cards toward me. I can’t keep anything from them.
“Yeah, well…” I bunch the cards back together and begin to shuffle them. “I miss Sophie.”
“Okay,” Reed says with a snort. “So call her.”
“It’s not that simple.” I shuffle the deck a second time, then a third—more than it needs, but I want something to do with my hands. “I fucked up completely. I pushed her away, and now she’s done with me. She doesn’t even want to talk to me anymore.”
A significant glance passes between Cole and Reed. Then Cole says, carefully, “How do you know she doesn’t want to talk to you?”
