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I just did not want her to think badly of my family.
NINETEEN
Autumn
I was loving life. A week had passed since the conference and Jonathan’s visit. Ryan was wonderful, and my sex life had never been better. I had given myself an ultimatum to let him know I had fallen for him. If it all went wrong, I would get on a plane and visit Grant and Charlotte in America. That way I would get to see them, and I could cry on my friends’ shoulders. I had a meal planned for tonight with all the food that Ryan enjoyed. He said he really liked chicken Kiev so I had stopped at the butcher and bought two. I had a selection of vegetables I was doing as well. Dessert would be chocolate-chip ice cream. I just hoped I would not burn anything. Burning ice cream was highly unlikely, but with my culinary skills, anything was possible.
I was eating my lunch when a message came through from Ryan.
Ryan: Having a few issues with my family and may be late tonight.
Autumn: That’s okay. Let me know if I can help.
Ryan: Thanks. Worst case, I’ll have to go home again. I have a bag packed in the car. Would much rather spend the night with you.
Autumn: The feeling is mutual. Keep me updated.
When I pulled up outside the cottage, Ryan’s pickup was not there. But that would give me more time to get ready. I unloaded the car and noticed a car revving across the street. The cottages were on a no-through road, so we didn’t get much traffic. Dorothy would be out in a minute telling whoever it was to shut up. I peered at the vehicle but could not make out a face, and then they drove off. It was probably just some young idiot driver. After losing my foot, I knew there were a lot of them around.
An hour later, I had showered, and the Kiev was cooking. There was a nice bottle of wine chilling in the fridge, and the fire alarm had not gone off, so I had managed to wing it and make a half-decent meal. We all have our skills. Ryan was good with wood, and I helped make people better—I didn’t have to be a great cook.
I checked my phone, and there were no messages. It was six-thirty and Ryan had said he would be back by now. I sent him a text.
Autumn: Hey, gorgeous. The food is cooking. Hope to see you soon. You know how good I am at burning things. Hope everything is okay.
I checked my emails while waiting for an answer.
Ten minutes later and there was still nothing, so I called him. The call went to message bank.
“Hi, Ryan. I was just wondering how you’re going. Give me a call when you are free.”
I fidgeted and paced back and forth in the small cottage. I’d gotten myself all ready for the big reveal and had a picture in my head of how it would go. Since I had confronted Jonathan, I had a stronger belief in myself, and I wasn’t going to let it go. I almost thought I should let Geraldine know about his proposition, but I decided to just stay out of their relationship. I had an idea Jonathan would ruin it all by himself.
Now he was late, things felt different. Maybe I wasn’t as strong as I thought. My phone pinged as a text came through. Before I could read it my cell phone rang. It was Ryan.
“Autumn. I’m so sorry. I’m on my way to Melbourne. I was going through an area with bad reception. I sent texts. I thought you knew.”
My heart sank that little bit, but his family was more important. Well, at least I would convince myself that was true. Darn it, but I wanted to be the most important person in his life. I realized I had never been that to anyone. Not Jonathan, not even my parents. Now I was just being selfish.
“That’s fine, Ryan. Do what you have to do. Let me know how it goes and when you’ll be back.”
“This is the last time. Things have come to a head, and my brother and I are going to sort it out once and for all. I promise I’ll explain everything when I get back. I just didn’t want to burden you with my family issues. Some bad stuff went down when we were kids and it’s hard to talk about.”
“That’s what friends are for. By the way, I wanted to let you know I bought some new lingerie. It can be a surprise for when you get back.” I couldn’t keep the smile off my face.
“That gives me the motivation to get this done even faster. I can’t wait to see you in it and out of it.”
“Let me know when you get there safe.”
Then he was gone, and I flopped down in the chair.
I would not cry. Stuff it.
My eyes watered.
I loved this guy and needed to tell him. There was no way I was going to do it over the phone, though. I wanted to see his reaction when I said those words. His eyes would tell me straight away if an ‘I like you a lot but’ was coming.
I dragged myself off the chair and dished up the meal. Without Ryan to share it with, I didn’t have an appetite anymore. The wine and ice cream could wait until he got back. I had work to do on my research project, so I would get stuck into that instead.
