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“We’re not sure. You’ve always helped me understand things in the past. I can operate on people, but you help with my feelings when they get all messed up. You know I’m a complicated man. You said you used to love that about me.”
I laughed, seeing what this visit was truly about.
“Hell, all you want is a quick fix of sex while you’re here in Australia and someone to visit in London when you’re away from home.” It was almost funny it was so ridiculous.
“It sounds awful when you say it like that, but I have always cared for you, and I thought you would understand me.” He put his glass down and moved toward me, but I put my hands up.
“Don’t come any closer. I understand perfectly well that you’re an entitled, selfish prick.” That felt so good to say out loud.
“Autumn. It’s not like you to say such things. I heard you’ve been associating with some lowlife. You are better than this.”
“I should have said this a long time ago. The door to us is completely closed and has been for a long time. I never want to see you again, and if we ever happen to pass each other in a medical situation, feel free to ignore me because I intend to ignore you.” I took a deep breath. “Also, the lowlife you mentioned has more integrity in his little finger than you have in your whole body. Now, leave.”
Jonathan opened his mouth to say something but then thought better of it and marched toward the front door. He turned for a parting shot.
“You never knew how good you had it.” Then he was gone.
He was wrong. Back then, I had not realized how badly I’d had it. Now I was free. Free of Jonathan for good and free to go my own way, even if that meant a future without Ryan.
Jonathan had given me a wonderful gift.
I actually believed in myself.
EIGHTEEN
Ryan
I hated keeping things from Autumn but guessed she had her own secrets too. By the time you got to our age, you had baggage. I had left a few broken hearts along the way, but I had protected my own. If I was going to make a go of a future with Autumn, then this was the first hurdle I would face.
Thanks to my old friend Dale, Chris had managed to find out the suburb where I lived, even if she didn’t have my address. I needed to sort it out. If Chris was distressed by the pregnancy, I would see if I could help in some way.
I had arranged to meet her at the Katoomba Family Hotel. It was a well-known venue and there would be lots of people around. I hoped she didn’t intend on making a scene.
When I walked in and across to the bar, I caught a glimpse of red hair. That hair color and the fact that she was a fair bit younger than me—I would say early twenties—were two things I could recall from that boozy night. She was sitting in the corner.
I walked over and she peered up at me. Chris bit her bottom lip and was wringing her hands.
“Can I get you a coffee or something?” I asked.
“No thanks.” She stood for a second and then sat down. I could see a bump showing—she was definitely pregnant. Not that I had thought she was lying anyway.
“I’ll get myself one and then we can talk.”
When I sat with my drink, she didn’t look up. This was going to be a hard conversation if she couldn’t even look at me.
“So, how can I help you? You said you’re pregnant, so I assume you think I had something to do with it.” I might as well get straight to the point.
She eventually glanced at me. “I wasn’t going to say anything. When I found out I decided to keep it and thought I could cope.” She wrung her hands for a minute before she spoke again. “I lost my job and couldn’t pay my rent. I didn’t want to depend on someone else, but I need some money. People are not too keen on employing a person who’s pregnant.”
I felt sorry for her, but that didn’t mean I was going to take responsibility for something that was not my fault.
“It’s not my baby.”
Chris went pale. That was obviously not the news she wanted to hear. “It has to be. The only other person I had sex with said he’d been given the snip.”
“Then you must have an amazing baby because I’m sterile. Thanks to an accident a long time ago, I can’t have kids.” Saying it out loud made it real.
“Hell. One of you has to be lying.” She kept shaking her head.
