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But she didn't judge him. She simply nodded. "I get it."
I get it.
Three simple words, but they seemed to take a thousand pounds off his shoulders. "I've always considered myself a complete fuck up because I can't get over it."
She smiled and took his hand, tucking it against her chest. "There's no such thing as getting over it. We grow, we heal, we expand, but it's all still a part of us." She smiled. "I think you've done great."
He shrugged. "As you said, I live in a prison."
"Yes, that is true. But your empathy enabled you to reach Annie, and all your horses…" she paused. "And me," she said softly. "You make me feel safe again."
He laughed. "You made me feel like a hero. I appreciate that."
"You are a hero. To Annie. To the horses. Just like I'm a hero to the women I help. And to Annie. We have to remember to see the hero in ourselves. It's so easy to forget to do that."
As she spoke, Jacob let her voice soothe him. Her voice was light and soft, filled with warmth and peace. "How did you get to where you are?" he asked. "When I'm with you, I feel different. Like…hope." Yeah, that was it. "No, like I can see a light in the distance that I never saw before. I wasn't looking for the light, but now I can see it."
Phoebe smiled and snuggled a little closer to him. "When my ex died, I felt the most glorious sense of freedom for the first time in my life. While I'd been hiding, I'd started doing a lot of research on self-empowerment and how to change your life. It was either that, or crawl under the bed and never come out."
He smiled. "And you're not the type to hide."
She laughed softly. "You figured that out, did you?"
"I did." A lock of hair had fallen across her cheek, and he wanted to brush it away, but he didn't want to scare her, or to cross boundaries she didn't want crossed. "When did you start coaching?"
"I actually started coaching right away, as soon as Eliana relocated me. I needed to earn money, and I didn't want other women to go through what I went through, feeling too powerless to make changes in their lives. So I started coaching others, not realizing that by learning what to teach them, I saved myself."
He smiled. "Best person to save."
"I know." She reached up and smoothed his hair, and his whole body settled at her touch. "I called my parents, told them everything that had happened, and then booked a flight home to see them. After not being able to talk to them for years, it made all my resentment vanish. All I wanted was to be home."
His heart ached for her. He couldn’t imagine having to walk away from his family. They were everything to him. "And then Eliana showed up at your door with Annie."
She nodded, tracing her fingers along his jaw. Her touch was almost absentminded, a movement that she was simply doing because it felt right. "Someday, I'm going to be sitting on my parents' couch again. Annie's going to be on my mom's lap, while her grandma reads to her. I keep the vision in my head. It will happen."
She was so fucking resilient and hopeful. "I admire the hell out of you."
Phoebe smiled at him. "That feels good to hear. I feel like I'm running on empty so often. You've helped a lot. Even Cupcake is calmer around you."
"He's a good dog." Jacob paused, then reached up and moved that lock of hair he'd been eyeing. Phoebe met his gaze as he touched it, and her eyes were soft and trusting. He smiled. "The way you look at me is surreal."
"How do I look at you?"
"Like I'm a gift."
"Perfect. Then I'm sending the right message."
He ran his finger lightly along her jaw. "That's what I'm thinking about you."
"It's been a long time since I've trusted a man," she said softly. "It feels good. It makes me feel safe."
He loved that. He absolutely loved that he could make her feel safe. "I want to kiss you," he said, his voice lower and rougher than he intended.
His heart melted a little at her answering smile. "Yes," she said.
"All right." He inched a little closer to her, then leaned in and kissed her.
The first time he'd kissed her had been unexpected. This time, he'd known it was going to be good, but it was even more than he'd anticipated. Even in the short time he'd known Phoebe, emotions had become more tangled with her, and that added a glorious complexity to the kiss.
