AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Instinctively, I step back.
‘Oh no.’ Chase, cemented to the floor, gapes in horror. ‘The catnip.’
There’s a flash of flesh and red, white and blue, like a flasher wrapped in an American flag. The dildo-wielding TSA agent screams, backpedaling away from the patriotically dressed speed racer cat until the line divider behind trips him and he falls, throwing the still-powered vibrator into the air.
The feline pounces, using the open suitcase as a springboard.
Dildos roll everywhere. One stops at the feet of the elderly woman from earlier.
If I wasn’t so horrified, I might have been impressed when my brother’s cat snags the tossed dick mid-air, landing with his treasure on the chest of the fallen TSA agent. All sprinkled with catnip.
Mehmed, having escaped his mother, picks up a neon green phallus. ‘Is this a light saber?’
Chase chokes on a laugh, while Mehmed’s mother smacks the saber out of her son’s hand. Who then begins to cry.
Somehow, I remain calm in the eye of the dildo hurricane raging around me.
Mike begins a public tryst with his airborne captured silicone boyfriend – on top of the downed TSA agent.
My brother looks torn between grabbing his cat or collecting the scattered rainbow collection of sex toys.
When Mike hisses mid-thrust as the downed TSA agent tries to sit up, Chase chooses the action least likely to end with hand dismemberment, and sinks slowly to his knees to help the pat-down agent gather the roll-away dildos.
Most other agents continue to gape along with the rest of the international airport’s passengers who are stalled in line behind us.
Turning my back on the whole charade, I hand Mehmed’s mother a hundred dollar bill, with a nod of apology. At first too stunned to register the gift, she finally takes it, grabs her son, and hustles the hell out of security.
A new TSA agent, one that looks far more superior in rank, approaches me. ‘Sir, I’m going to need you to come with me.’
I glance at Chase and his sphynx, each still dick-wrangling in their own way. ‘Just me?’
The agent’s eyes flick toward my travel companions then back. ‘Better bring your whole party.’
* * *
Alice
‘Promise me you’ll send me pictures of the princess.’
I smile into my phone as I hurry past the check-in desks to airport security. ‘I promise.’
My six-year-old pseudo niece started confusing brides and princesses years ago when we saw a bridal photo shoot in Central Park and I told her that brides were like princesses for a day. Even as she got older, she’s still obsessed with royalty.
‘Do you think she’ll wear a tiara?’
‘Maybe.’ I love her. So much. I want to talk to her every day. Live with her like I did when she was first born. But I can’t set that plan in motion, or even figure out why Mary isn’t in school right now, when her mother, Kayla, is avoiding me. ‘Can I talk to your mom?’
Mary sighs, clearly unhappy moving away from the subjects of princess brides. ‘She’s sleeping.’
‘Sleeping?’ I double check the time on my phone. Ten in the morning.
‘Yeah…’ Mary’s voice, lower now than when talking about tiaras, jabs my chest.
Something isn’t right.
I knew it when, this past Christmas, Kayla wanted to spend the holiday at my place. I hadn’t asked why we were celebrating in my small studio apartment rather than the larger apartment she shared with her now ex-boyfriend, or even about how the job search was going since she’d been let go from her last place of employment after Thanksgiving.
I hadn’t wanted to ruin Christmas by bringing up unpleasant things.
