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“In a rubbernecker-at-a-car-crash kind of way. Did Stu get his nose reset?”
“I’m not sure. Can you zip me up?”
I turned so Hawk could reach the zipper on my floral shift dress. He looked as uncomfortable in his chinos and dress shirt as I felt. After he’d used his tie as a blindfold and fucked me in the hot tub yesterday, he’d stuffed the suit into his duffel bag, then chuckled when I fished it out and hung it neatly in the closet.
“Don’t get any ideas, babe. That’s for weddings and funerals only.”
“What if I said I was harbouring a secret ambition to sneak into the bathroom at one of those fancy gala dinners Emmy always has spare tickets for and suck your cock while you’re wearing it?”
“I’ll get it dry-cleaned next week.”
I checked my reflection in the mirror. Only one more day of pretending to be a respectable daughter and not the black sheep of the family. Should I wear the kitten heels or the sandals? The strap on the sandals rubbed, but the kitten heels were hideous.
Wait a second… Pretending?
Hadn’t I given Clarice a well-deserved lecture on that very subject last night? I’d told her to be true to herself, but here I was, dressed as if I were heading to a church luncheon.
You know what? Screw it. Screw appearances and screw my parents’ expectations.
“Can you get the zipper again?” I asked Hawk.
“You’re changing?”
“We’re changing. Put on jeans and a T-shirt, the tighter the better. And your leather boots.”
“I left them in the truck.”
“Go get them, and my boots too.”
“Are you trying to give your mom a heart attack?”
“You think that’s possible?” I asked with a little too much hope in my voice.
“Probably not. I reckon there’s a fifty percent chance she’s animatronic. Did you see how many people it took to pull her away from Stu’s mom yesterday?”
Half a dozen at least, and she’d taken several handfuls of hair with her.
“I could hardly miss that.”
“If I ever come to one of your family events again, I’m gonna borrow an EMP weapon from work. That oughta take out half of the attendees.”
Good plan. “And I’ll remember my taser.”
* * *
“This is a private event, young man. You’ll have to eat somewhere else.”
Mom’s words dripped with condescension as she failed to recognise Hawk from a cursory glance. No, she just assumed he was an interloper and tried to shoo him away.
Instead of being fazed, he walked farther into the room where my whole family—minus Stu—was eating breakfast. Had Stu been excommunicated? Or was he still at the hospital? Perhaps he was drowning his sorrows over the fact that he’d have to pay two lots of child support?
“If I play my cards right, maybe you’ll be my mother-in-law someday, Janice.”
What? Hawk was kidding, right? He had to be kidding. I stepped out from behind him, resisting the urge to giggle when my mom’s already dark look turned positively black. I’d changed into skintight black jeans, a maroon tank top, and a pair of black Chelsea boots with a line of metal studs running up the heel.
“Hi, Mom. Hope someone saved me a croissant.”
She leaned forward in her seat. “What on earth are you wearing? You look terrible.”
