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She looks at me through lowered lashes before climbing onto the bed and wrapping her arms around her knees. “Okay.”
I’m not really sure where to start.
I lean against the headboard and take a breath, “You already know about the band and how that turned into what it is today…” I trail off. “I guess to understand I need to start a little further back.”
Juliet listens intently, and as much as my brain wants me to crawl back into my comfort zone, I don’t.
I want to talk about this shit with someone, and I want that person to be her.
“My home life wasn’t great,” I admit. “We were poor and lived in a shitty two-bedroom apartment paid for with government assistance. We survived off food stamps. My mom couldn’t work thanks to a back injury, and my stepdad was a real piece of shit. My dad split after my sister was born.”
One thing I hadn’t put on my bingo card for today was dredging these memories out from the dark hold I kept them tucked away in.
“When I turned sixteen, I moved in with Gareth. My sister,” I pause before continuing, “Wrenlee, I didn’t take her with me. I mean, she was only twelve, but I’ll never forgive myself for not getting her out of that hell hole.”
I close my eyes, trying to blink away the guilt snaking its way into my body and sinking its fangs into me.
“My mom got hooked on pain pills after her injury, which made her even more of a non-existent parent. With me gone, Wren was all alone. She got mixed up with some shady people and made some bad decisions. When we started actually making a living with our music, I put her up in a condo, but by then, the damage was done. She was stuck in a relationship with some asshole who mooched off her and the money I gave her to live on, and by the time I figured out he was hitting her, she was already pregnant.”
“Jesus,” Juliet breathes out before placing her hand on my knee. “That’s awful.”
“I showed up unannounced, and she didn’t have time to cover the bruises. I don’t remember much after that. I blacked out and when I came to she was crying and he was unconscious.”
She crawls across the bed and into my lap, pressing her forehead into my chest. The comfort I feel from her touch surprises me.
I think a part of me knew that things had gone deeper between us than just wanting to fuck her, and this confirmed it.
“I made damn sure that he made a swift exit from her life. Wren didn’t take it well. She’d been pushed around and abused for so long that she’d started to believe that kind of life was fucking normal.”
We’re at the part in the story now where I normally shut down.
I can feel my chest tightening, my heart starts racing, my palms are sweating and my instinct is to end this here. I don’t want to talk about that day. I don’t want to admit to Juliet that the reason my sister is where she is… is because of me.
The moment I found her plays in my mind as clearly as watching a movie on a screen. This time I don’t shut it off when it gets to the part I’ve forced myself to block out.
“Fuck, Wren, what did you do?” My voice cracks when her small frame comes into view.
Her face is puffy and stained with streaks of eye makeup and tears.
“I’m sorry,” she sobs into my chest when I pull her into my arms. “I’m s-so sorry, Ryan.”
I scramble for my phone and dial 911, clutching her to me as if it will somehow keep her here with me. Like if I let go, she will slip away.
“God damn it, Wren, what did you do? Fuck,” Her eyes flutter, but I can tell she’s trying to keep them on me. “Hold on, okay? Fucking hold on.”
“I just want it to stop, Ry.” Her voice is small now and I can feel her grip on me weakening.
My fingers tremble as I hold the phone to my ear.
“911, what is your emergency?” A male’s calm voice comes through the speaker.
“I need an ambulance here, 826 Cobblestone, Unit D. My sister tried to kill herself.” I choke out the words and try to swallow my tears, “Fucking hurry, I don’t know what she took, but she’s fading in and out.”
“Yes, sir, I can have first responders en route. What is her name?”
I look down at her and bile rises in my throat.
“Her name is Wrenlee Knox, she’s 26,” I hesitate. “And pregnant. She just found out she’s pregnant. I don’t know how far along. I don’t know anything,”
