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Had he been thinking long-term?
No, not yet.
Too much had happened over the last few months, and he was wary of planning a future when he knew the future was anything but certain. But he’d been intrigued, liked her and wanted to get to know her.
Since meeting Lila, he hadn’t had sex with another woman, hadn’t even thought about it. Lila had been more than enough to satisfy him in every single way. Not just physically, although they were certainly burn up the sheets compatible, but emotionally and psychologically as well.
Without Lila’s calming presence in his life, he feared he would resort back to having to chase that high with random women all over again.
“Christian, you’re scaring me. Can you just tell me why you’re here?” Lila’s voice drew him out of his head, and he took one last look at her before he severed the connection that seemed to have bound them together from that very first moment.
“I’m sorry, Lila, it’s over.”
“You’re breaking up with me? Just like that?” Lila’s eyes widened with shock. And he hated how this had come completely out of the blue for her. When he’d last seen her a few days ago everything had been perfect, and when they’d spoken on the phone right before he and his team raided the Mikhailov estate to rescue Julia Garamond, they’d made plans for another date.
Now he was here ending things.
“Just like that.”
Tears shimmered in those gorgeous eyes, and they almost had him breaking down and telling her everything. But Lila’s life was what was important here, and he wouldn’t put it in danger.
“But I don’t understand, everything was going so well,” Lila said. “I thought this was going somewhere.”
“Well, it’s not.” Surf hated coming across as so callous. While he was every bit as deadly as the rest of the men on his team, he was the lighthearted one, the goofy one, who was able to put victims at ease, and charm anyone into doing what he wanted. This wasn’t him, but he didn’t know any other way to end things and keep Lila safe than to shatter her sweet heart.
“But—”
“Look, babe, it’s not up for discussion. We had some fun, but you knew when I met you that all I wanted was a physical relationship.” It took everything he had not to cringe at the words coming out of his mouth.
Lila’s eyes went almost impossibly wide. “So, I meant absolutely nothing to you but a warm body primed for sex?”
The incredulity in her voice told him that he would never have a chance to convince her that this had all been a ruse to protect her.
“Don’t call me, Lila.”
Anger shoved aside some of the confusion and hurt. “Oh, don’t worry about that. I have no intention of calling. I don’t want to see or speak to you ever again.”
Mission accomplished.
Memorizing every detail about her, her long, wavy blonde hair that fell like a golden waterfall down her back, the soft dusting of freckles across her nose, and the way her plump lips quirked up when she was amused before her face bloomed into a full-blown smile.
She was everything he wanted.
Everything he needed.
It killed him to have to walk away like this.
“You should go now.” Lila stalked to the door and threw it open, waiting expectantly for him to leave.
Because he was a weak man, a selfish one as well as it turned out, Surf paused at the door. Curling one hand behind her neck, he touched his lips to hers in one last kiss.
One last taste of paradise.
Then he turned and walked away leaving his heart in tatters on Lila’s apartment floor.
* * * * *
October 29th
