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Chapter One
October 13th
12:25 P.M.
This sucked.
Majorly.
But with the threat hanging over his head Christian “Surf” Bailey didn’t see that he had any other choice.
Drawing in a deep breath, he forced himself to do this. Breaking Lila’s heart would break his right along with it, but he couldn’t let her know that. If he wasn’t strong and didn’t make a clean break of things, then he was painting a major bullseye on the woman’s back, and he’d rather break her heart than get her killed.
Surf knocked on Lila’s apartment door and schooled his expression into a mask of disinterest. If he didn’t like the woman so much this wouldn’t be so hard. When he’d met her, he’d been in the middle of a month-long sex binge. Falling for a woman had been the last thing he’d wanted.
After he and his team—Prey Security’s Alpha Team—had been ambushed and held captive in Somalia, they had been beaten and tortured for two weeks before they’d been rescued. He’d found the only way he could cope with the mess of emotions and overwhelming helplessness the ordeal invoked was the high of an orgasm.
Meaningless sex was all he’d wanted. In and done as quickly as possible. Get the woman off, get himself off, then leave. He hadn’t even known the names of the vast majority of them. Hadn’t wanted to. It wasn’t about them, wasn’t even really about him, he just needed that high to survive.
Until Lila had changed everything.
“Oh, Christian, hi. What a great surprise.” Lila’s sweet smile greeted him like a beacon shining a light through a pitch-black night. She might not know it—would likely never know it—but she was what had saved him. Brought him out of that darkness, and he hated that this was how it was going to end.
All he could do was pray that once they found and eliminated the threat hanging over him and his team, he could come back, explain, and Lila might understand.
Not sure he would if he was her, but he could hope.
Had to hope.
“We need to talk.”
At his tone, the smile slowly fell from Lila’s face, and instead, uncertainty danced in her beautiful baby blue eyes. It had been a few days since he’d been able to come and see her, but they had talked on the phone and texted every single day since they had met. He knew this was going to come completely out of the blue for her, she wouldn’t understand, and he absolutely hated that. But telling her the truth meant putting her in danger, and he hated that even more.
“Uh, sure, come on in.” When she stepped back to let him enter her apartment, he felt that distance like a physical blow.
This was it.
In just a couple of minutes, he would rip out her heart and walk away like she meant nothing to him. She’d saved him, and she wouldn’t know it. It seemed so unfair, and he cursed everyone involved in this plot to overthrow the government that now had him and his team marked for death.
“Umm, do you want something to eat? I was just about to make lunch. I can make you something too,” Lila offered. She’d closed the door behind them but was watching him somewhat warily as though she suspected whatever he was there for wasn’t something she wanted to hear.
“No, thanks anyway. I think it’s best that I just do this.”
Lila lifted her arms to wrap around her stomach, bracing herself for a blow, and he hated that he was the one who was going to deliver it. She wasn’t usually the kind of woman he found himself attracted to. Usually, he went for outgoing, loud extroverts, people who liked to be the life of the party, but also women who had a great sense of humor and loved to have fun.
In contrast to that, Lila was quiet and contemplative. She had a steady confidence that you might not notice right away, but she held herself tall in a crowd, paid attention to everything happening around her, noticed details, and hadn’t been afraid to stand up for herself or to him.
They’d met quite by accident.
He’d been leaving after having sex with a woman he’d already forgotten what she looked like. She’d been coming home from her job as a 911 operator.
Already losing that high he’d needed, Surf had been distracted, dropped his cell phone, and bent down to pick it up, not realizing a woman was walking by. She’d tripped over him and would have hit the hard pavement if he didn’t have quick reflexes.
She had been understandably wary of him given it was early morning, the sun just beginning to rise, and had told him off for not paying attention to his surroundings. The spark of irritation in her eyes had immediately captured his attention, but the lurking sadness made his heart stir and take notice.
It had taken all of his charm and sweet-talking skills to get her to agree to go to a local diner with him for an early breakfast. Eventually, she had opened up and told him that it had been a rough shift at her job. She’d had a kid die of anaphylaxis and a woman kidnapped while on the line.
Seeing how deeply she cared about people she didn’t even know, he knew then and there that she was something special.
