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Why don't I want to tell him?
"Just visiting my parents for a bit," I say, skating over the truth. "How have you been, Finn?"
He shrugs, a casual gesture that's so familiar to me. "Same old, same old. I'm still working at the high school--just got promoted to teach AP History along with coaching the hockey team in the winter."
"That's great, Finn," I say, smiling. "You always loved teaching history."
He nods, his eyes crinkling at the corners. "Yeah, I can't imagine doing anything else."
We lapse into silence for a moment, and I realize how much I've missed this--talking to Finn, just being around him. It's been so long since we've seen each other, and yet it feels like no time has passed at all.
"So, Jenny," Finn says, breaking the silence. "How's the big city treating you? You living the dream?"
I hesitate, thinking about Steven, about the wedding, about my doubts. "It's...it's good. Busy. I'm engaged, actually."
Finn's expression doesn't change, but I can see something flicker in his eyes. Disappointment? Regret?
"Wow," he says. "I didn't even know that you were in a relationship."
"We met ten months ago--at a wedding, actually," I say, blushing. "It's been fast."
"That's great," he says, his tone carefully neutral. "What's his name?"
"Steven," I reply, and Finn nods, his eyes searching mine as if trying to read my thoughts.
"Well, congratulations, Jenny. I hope he's good to you."
"He is," I say, but the words sound hollow, even to me. Yeah, things were great before he got his internship, but now he barely calls.
I can't tell Finn that.
We used to be friends, but we haven't known each other in a long time.
"Listen," I say, breaking the awkward silence. "I should probably head back. My mom's probably wondering where I am."
Finn steps aside and nods, his expression guarded. "Yeah, no problem. It was good to see you, Jenny."
"You too, Finn," I say, and start to walk away. But before I can get more than a few steps, he calls out to me.
"Hey, Jenny. Don't be a stranger, okay?"
I turn back to him and smile, feeling a pang of regret as I realize that I already am a stranger to him. "I won't. Take care, Finn."
I turn and walk away, my heart feeling heavy as I think about what could have been. Finn and I had always been so close, then we drifted apart after high school. I think it was too hard for me to spend time with him when I cared so much...and he cared so little.
As I walk back to my parents' restaurant, my mind is filled with thoughts of Finn. I can't believe how much I missed him and how I still feel drawn to him. It wasn't just a childhood crush; there was something real there between us. But now, I'm engaged to someone else, and I can't help but feel like I'm settling.
When I get back to the restaurant, my mom is waiting for me, looking out the window.
"I saw Finn Carson," she says. "I feel like he used to come by the restaurant all the time; you should have told him to come over!"
"Not today, mom," I murmur. "I'm tired."
Her smile drops and she reaches for me. My mom and I have always been close, and she knows me too well to miss the fact that I'm sad.
"Are you okay?" she asks, touching my arm gently.
I nod, putting on a brave face.
