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Jason chuckles before ducking his head down for another kiss.
“It was that good, huh?”
I merely smile peacefully, although I want to tell him I love him. I want to tell him that I lovedthis, but that would be insane. So instead, I settle for the satisfying weight of his huge body on mine, as he lays his head on my chest and listens to the gradual slowing of my heartbeat. Yet what’s going to happen? Is Jason going to keep sneaking in through the window like an interloper? Can we continue this dirty liaison, even though I’m in high school, and he’s the older man? Even crazier, we didn’t use protection …and I don’t care.
7
Emily
Iwalk into the school cafeteria and let my eyes scan the large room, which is filling up fast with chattering, laughing teenagers with backpacks slung over their shoulders. I’m looking for Janine, and soon I locate my sister lining up in the lunch line as she scrolls on her cell. Making my way over to her, I join her in line.
“Please don’t ask me how the test went,” she mutters without looking up from her phone. Janine looks pale and wan, and her brown curls look limp for a change.
“That bad?” I ask, flinching a little. I helped my sister study for a biology test she had today. We pored over an entire term’s worth of material in the space of a week, but I guess it didn’t really work. Unlike me, Janine isn’t exactly the academic type. She’s let her grades slide all year and she’s now on academic probation. Unless my sister gets her GPA up, she could be expelled.
By contrast, a few days ago I received notice that I got a full-ride to State this fall. My acceptance letter was flowery and filled with congratulations, and the financial aid offer literally made me tear up. Yet even though this is what I’ve been working towards for forever, I feel so guilty that I haven’t even been able to share the news with Janine, or my parents. Instead, I’ve thrown myself into helping my sister improve her grades, in the hopes of avoiding the impending doom of her dropping out of high school, which seems inevitable if this continues. Knowing Janine, my sister would sooner drop out and save her pride, than face the humiliation of getting kicked out.
“So was it that bad?” I probe gently again. “The test, I mean. You don’t have to say if you don’t want to.”
Janine looks down at her feet.
“I just froze,” she mutters, and I can sense the note of panic in her voice, which is new. Usually, nothing can get my sister down. “I literally forgot everything I’ve been cramming all week. Poof, gone,” she sighs.
“It’ll be okay,” I say soothingly, putting my arm around her. “You still have the rest of this term to make it up. I’ll help you.”
“Thanks, Emily,” she says as we arrive at the pizza bar. We each help ourselves to a slice, and then I point to some yummy-looking cupcakes at the next station.
“Take one of those as dessert,” I encourage Janine, “it’ll make you feel better.” She nods and selects one with vanilla frosting, while I choose a strawberry one. We pay, and then go to sit down in the crowded cafeteria.
“Tell me something nice,” she sighs as we slide onto the benches of an empty table. “I don’t want to think about that stupid test anymore because it’s so fucking depressing! School sucks!”
I smile wanly.
“It’s not that bad.”
Janine snorts.
“Says the straight-A student.”
“Yeah, but you know I work hard for my grades. I have, since I was in the first grade and won the effort award.”
Janine snorts.
“I remember. The only thing I won was nothing. I got nothing.”
I smile and take a bite of pizza.
“It’s not that bad, Janine. Youwillgraduate from high school, I promise.”
My sister looks skeptical as she bites into her own slice, and then smiles.
“So what’s going on with Jason? Tell me, because I can’t take any more of this school stuff.”
A host of butterflies flutter in my stomach.
“Well, Jason and I have been getting together,” I say shyly, “and it’s been amazing.”
My sister nods.
