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“Sure will, sir. Thanks again.”
Matty had always wondered what it felt like when the prisoner on death row took that short, final walk towards the execution chamber. He’d never witnessed one in real life of course, but in the movies there was always some sad, melodramatic soundtrack playing in the background while the usually innocent victim of a conspiracy walked with slow, heavy steps toward his final destination. There was no sad, drawn-out violin playing in the background as Matty went down to the docks to meet his fate. There was only the cry of the seagulls and the all-consuming pounding in his chest.
Halfway he stopped at a corner and emptied his stomach contents behind a dumpster. Next to his boots lay the breakfast that Austin had made for him this morning. The very same breakfast that his man made for him every morning. If Matty had known a few hours ago that this would probably be the last time that Austin served him his first meal of the day, he would’ve thanked him properly instead of a hurried “thanks, babe”as he inhaled the egg and bacon sandwich in no more than thirty seconds.That’s life,Matty couldn’t help thinking as he inspected the tip of his boots for vomit.Just when you think that it couldn’t get any better, it all turns to shit. Fuck!Of course, he could run right now. Get the fuck outta here. Only, he couldn’t, could he? As easy as it had been to leave Eden, the thought of leaving right now, without a word, tore him apart.
He’d always known that the day would come when his past would catch up with him. He wasn’t as naïve to believe that a mere change of his last name would keep him hidden away forever. But he’d hoped that it would be later—maybe when he’d had a decade or two with Austin. That was the thing that gutted him above everything else. Not the idea of spending time in prison or having to go back to Eden. No, it was the thought of leaving Austin and never seeing him again. And Millie. And Will. At least he’d get to see Ethan again. After three years Matty hoped that his best friend would still wanna know him. Ethan would always wanna know him. That, he felt with an unwavering certainty in his heart.
He recognized Deputy Wilson right away as he stood next to Austin, who was gettingStellaready. The tall, burly figure with the tan uniform always appearing just a size too small. Deputy Wilson hadn’t gotten any smaller since Matty last saw him. The rough fabric of his pants seemed to be bursting at the seams, stretching beyond expectation across his solid thighs. He couldn’t make out the words, but he saw Austin shake his head while he shifted nervously on his feet. From afar Matty hollered at the officer.
“Deputy Wilson! Long time no see…” Matty held out his hand towards the deputy, faking a smile. His eyes caught Austin’s steel-gray gaze and Matty shrugged in defeat.Shit!He loved this man so fucking much. How many years did you usually get for assault? First time offense? Would his mom testify against him, or would she tell the court that it was self-defense? He didn’t know… How fucking sad was it that he didn’t know if his own mother was gonna have his back or not.
“Matty,” Deputy Wilson reached out and shook his hand, squinting in the morning sun as he took him in. “Look at you, son, all grown-up now.”
“Yeah, I guess…” Matty swallowed back the bile which once again rose at the back of this throat. He felt like screaming, running, crying. This was it, wasn’t it? Only it couldn’t be. Because he wasn’t done with this life yet. He wasn’t done with this feeling of unrestricted freedom whenever he set foot onStella, Austin by his side, the ruthless wind hitting his face and the smell of the salty ocean entering his nostrils. He wasn’t done with Sunday lunches in Millie’s kitchen, Will inhaling the Sunday paper, mumbling in front of him or tuna casserole dinners at Mr. O’Neil’s house followed by a loud game of cards.
There were endless lists of things to do around the house and endless lists of things he wanted to do. But most of all Matty wasn’t done with the feeling of waking up in his own bed with a sleep-warm Austin murmuringMatty, my beautiful Mattyinto his chest. He was never gonna be fucking done with that.
“Good to see ya, son,” the deputy cleared his throat, his eyes strangely clear and bright. “We’ve been looking for ya…”
“Yeah, I kinda figured you’d be showing up at some point…”
Austin grabbed his hand and tangled his fingers through Matty’s, squeezing them gently, while Wilson eyed them curiously, a puzzled frown between his brows.
“What’s going on, Officer?” His boyfriend’s deep voice settled around him like a protective shield. Only it couldn’t protect Matty from this next chapter of his life.
“Matty, son. Your mother’s in the hospital,” Wilson continued, a solemn look on his chubby face.
That was nothing out of the ordinary. The next part, however, surprised the fuck out of him.
“And your father’s in jail.”
A ringing sound started in his ears, and he had to dissect the words individually to comprehend what the deputy had just told him.Your. Father’s. In. Jail.Well, damn.
“They haven’t charged him yet, but I’m expecting it to be serious. Aggravated assault at the very least. Attempted murder is not unlikely, though.”
“Attempted murder?” Austin blurted, looking at Wilson, a stunned look on his face. “What the hell happened?” He drew Matty against him protectively and pressed a kiss against his clammy temple.
“Matty, your father nearly strangled your mother to death. She’s gonna be okay but the hospital alerted the authorities and they’re pressing charges. He ain’t getting away with it this time.” The deputy shuffled his feet as he adjusted his well-worn hat.
“Yeah?” Matty whispered, a bitter-sweet feeling settling in his abdomen. “What’s so different about this time?”
“Listen, son… I know…” Wilson interrupted, looking to the ground.
“You know?” Matty gritted out, blue eyes blazing. “Oh, now you suddenly know, do ya? What’s so different about this time that you suddenly decided to grow a pair of fucking balls, huh Wilson?”
“Matty…” Austin whispered against his hair, but Matty continued like an open faucet, words spilling from his lips in anger, hurt and pent-up fear.
“Is it because my mom nearly died this time? Is it? Should I have been closer to dying at the age of twelve when that motherfucker threw me down the basement stairs, huh? Was I not beaten bad enough for ya with that fucking belt at the age of fourteen when I couldn’t sit down for a week? Wasn’t my arm broken enough six months later when he slammed it in the kitchen door? Wasn’t it?! You fucking answer me, Wilson, because I don’t get it!” Matty was screaming at this point because it didn’t make sense. In this moment nothing made sense because he was still waiting for Deputy Wilson to handcuff him and lead him away.
As if coming from miles away, he registered Austin’s familiar voice like a beacon, steadying him right when his legs started to give way beneath him.
“Shhh, sweetheart. I’ve got you. I’ve got you. It’s gonna be okay now. Everything’s gonna be okay.”
CHAPTER FORTY-FOUR
Ethan – Now
“FEELING BETTER?” ETHANbrushed his lips against Avery’s sweaty temple which was still damp and salty from his tears.
