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“We are!” I wish I could explain the reason my mother and I are getting along more is that Michael had given me a gentle push to not waste the time I have to repair the relationship with my mother. But I'm not ready to explain about him just yet.
I take a sip of my coffee, loving that it tastes just like the candy bar. With careful hands, I unwrap the plastic wrap around the giant cookie and break a piece off, thrilled that the treat is so soft. I offer it to my friends, and both Raina and Valerie take a small piece.
“It's so soft!” Val seems ecstatic as Raina pops her bite into her mouth.
“That's really good” Raina says with a nod, staring at the cookie. “I might have to get one.”
“Me too,” Val says.
“So what is everybody up to today?” The second time I asked the question, I realized I probably couldn't answer it honestly since my plans were to spend the day with Michael. It's going to get more and more difficult to hide what I'm doing as time goes by and we spend more and more time together.
“I'm working unfortunately,” Val says.
“And I have a wedding to plan.” Raina sounds genuinely excited, and I try to imagine what it would be like to plan the wedding of my dreams to the man I want to spend the rest of my life with. Thoughts of Michael crowd into my mind and I'm surprised.
I mean, I like him, but could I really imagine spending the rest of my life with him getting married to him? That seems like a huge step given where we are in our relationship.
“What about you?” Val asks, before holding up one finger and walking over to the counter to get her drink and muffin. Raina follows her over. Val comes back with her drink, muffin, and a cookie. Raina comes back with her coffee and a cookie, and I can't hold back a smile as I pop another bite into my mouth.
Thankfully, them leaving before I answer gives me a little bit of time to think about what I'm going to say.
The soft cookie melts in my mouth as I chew, thinking about how much I’m enjoying this time with my friends. I really am grateful that it was so easy to work everything out. If I'm being honest, I kind of want to escape and go back to Michael's house, climb into his bed, cuddle with him... and maybe do more.
“So what are your plans for the day?” Raina asks me as they sit down with their coffees and snacks.
“I'm going to go check on my mom. Trying to figure out why my dad isn't answering his calls. Maybe answer a few emails. You know we're in the mail stuff.”
“Your dad still isn't answering?” Val sounds worried, and Raina’s forehead wrinkles in concern.
I shake my head. “He was going on a business trip and then just disappeared.”
My friends glance at one another. “Have you tried calling the police and requesting a wellness check? It might be difficult if you don't know where he is, but they're going to have access to information you don’t.” Raina reaches out and puts her hand on mine as she speaks.
I sense her quiet comfort and once again praise the powers that be that she’s my friend again. “I hadn't even thought about that, but it's a really good idea.” I can't imagine how or why my dad would just vanish. And I hate not knowing why he left, where he went, or if he's ever coming back. I’m not fond of the man, but it does tear me up inside, wondering if he's safe, happy, or even alive.
I highly doubt the man ever loved me. I don't think I ever loved him, but that doesn't mean I want him gone. My mom needs him, as sad as that sounds.
I try to push away the troubling thoughts, but they keep creeping back in. They bring anger, anxiety, and sadness with them. I've never felt so painfully alone as I do dealing with dad's disappearance. And I'm sure he'll be found just fine in some motel room with someone, but that doesn't make me feel better.
“I'm so sorry you're going through this. I can't even imagine,” Val says.
“I'm sure it'll all be fine,” I say as I take a drink of my coffee and pop another bite of cookie into my mouth. I didn't plan for my problems to become the focal point of this reunion.
“So has anything changed since last time we talked?” I ask.
“I added another zero to my net worth.” Val sounds happy and we both praise her for her accomplishment.
“That's amazing, good job!” I say.
“Congratulations!” Raina gives Val a quick, around the shoulders hug and our friend smiles, her cheeks going pink.
“My news isn't as exciting as hers, but I did pick out my wedding dress,” Raina says, picking up her phone and turning on the screen. After a moment, she turns it toward me, and I see the beautiful white lace dress.
“Oh wow, that's beautiful,” I say as she turns the phone screen toward Val, whose eyes widen. We continue talking about everything and nothing, making plans for the future and what we're going to do next, the next Airbnb we're going to rent, and the time we're going to spend together. And I find myself enjoying the comfort of a routine. I realize now that losing my best friends would have made my life feel very, very empty. I'm grateful that we were able to repair things.
And when it's finally time to go, we hug goodbye - the coffee is gone, the cookies are reduced to crumbs, and our hearts are full.
After we all part and go our separate ways, I feel an odd pang of loneliness.
