Page 58 of Saving Jenna
“You look beautiful,” I tell Poppy again. “And thank you for coming.”
She smiles up at me, cupping my face gently. Her blue eyes sparkle with happiness, and I’m still shocked every time that it has anything to do with me. “I wouldn’t dream of being anywhere else right now,” she says earnestly. But then she pats my cheeks a bit too hard. “Now, go find your sister while I get us seats. Fair warning, if I see any little old ladies with walkers, I’m gonna knock them down to get to the front row. Everyone knows that’s where the best mosh pits are.”
“I don’t think there will be a mosh pit during the ceremony. It’s planned for the reception,” I answer dryly.
“Hmm, I must’ve missed that memo,” Poppy says lightly. With a shrug, she adds, “Well, if one happens to spontaneously break out, it definitely won’t be my fault. Nope, not my fault at all.”
With a kiss so quick I don’t even get to pucker, she’s off. Alone in the hallway, I take a steadying breath before going to find Caylee.
I wander down a corridor until I find a closed door with a sign proclaiming Bride and then knock. Opening the door slowly, I call out, “Everyone decent?”
Caylee answers, “Yes, come in.”
The room is sparse, with some suitcases in the floor and two tables set up with makeup and hair stuff. But I don’t see anything other than Caylee, not entrance and exit points, alarms, or any of the other things I typically note automatically. It’s just my sister, all grown up.
Caylee looks beautiful in her wedding gown, a white, slim-fitting dress with lace along the bodice and hips. Her hair is down in curls, and a beautiful tiara that makes her look like a princess sits on her head.
“Connor!” she cries out, hugging me tightly as she realizes that I’m really sticking to my promise and have actually showed up tonight. “Thank you.”
“You look stunning,” I compliment her. “Really, Caylee.”
“You’re not so bad yourself, big brother.” She grins, so happy she’s nearly in tears. “I can’t believe you came.”
I sigh, nodding. “I wish I could say there’s no way I would’ve missed it, but we both know that’d be a lie.”
Caylee’s smile falters as a hint of sadness enters her eyes. But she doesn’t give me shit for being absent for so long. Instead, she says, “Poppy’s good for you.”
I want to argue with her, but she’s right. Last night after working and ‘musing’, Poppy was so exhausted, we fell into her bed. Not for sex but to actually sleep. I’d held her in my arms as she snored softly and had slept more peacefully than I have in years. I want to share that with Caylee, but in the end, I settle with the truth. “I worry I’m not good for her.”
Caylee looks at me with pity. “I know. I had the same problems when Evan and I started dating. The peril of having parents we couldn’t please, no matter what we did.”
There’s really no way to reply to that, it’s simply the hard-hearted truth. “I didn’t do a whole lot of people pleasing back then, anyway.”
“Yeah, well . . . I kept trying,” she says with some bitterness. “You were always the smart one, going the other way when you saw it wasn’t going to work no matter what you did.”
I snort at her assessment, both that I’m the smart one and that the youthful transgressions she knows about were the better option. I wonder if she’d still feel the same way if she knew just how far I’ve gone and how deeply I’ve fallen. But beyond myself, I realize that when I rebelled, leaving my parents’ expectations and rules behind, I also left behind . . . Caylee.
“I’m sorry.” The words choke me, and I cough, not expecting this to be so damn hard. “I’m sorry, Cay. For then and for now.”
Caylee presses her lips together, looking up as she blinks rapidly and fans her face. “Don’t do that. If you make me cry before the pictures, I’m going to look like a demon-possessed raccoon with red eyes with a black smudge of liner. Then I’ll have to kick your ass.”
“Think about coconuts,” I blurt.
Caylee looks back at me, surprised. “What?”
“Coconuts,” I repeat. “Sunscreen. Sand. Sea. Picture it, smell it, feel it. You can’t cry on the beach. It’s humanly impossible. Probably illegal too. At least in a handful of countries.”
It’s Poppy’s words coming out of my mouth. I can feel the randomness of them, but they’re also from the heart and seem to work because Caylee immediately laughs and dabs her eyes. “Coconuts. Okay then. Thank you. And for coming.”
“Close your eyes,” I respond, reaching into my pocket. “And hold out your hands.”
Caylee gives me a quizzical smile but does what I ask and closes her eyes. With the sun on her face, she looks so ethereal it takes my breath away. It makes me realize how much she’s grown up, no longer the knock-kneed, snaggle-toothed kid but a beautiful woman beginning a family of her own.