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"Audra," I say gently, "what happened?"
She opens her mouth, but then closes it quickly. Instead of answering, she hands me her phone, the text messages between her and Matt on display.
"R-read," she instructs.
I really don't want to. I don't want to intrude on whatever is going on between them.
But I read anyway.
It's a long text from Matt after Audra sent him a message asking why he didn't want to go grab a cup of coffee with her.
Audra, I've already made it very clear if you or the baby needs anything, I'll be there for you. But I'm not interested in dating right now. I want to focus on the baby and you're making it incredibly hard for me to be there for you when you don't respect what I want. At this point, I've decided to stay in the dorms at UCLA. I don't think we should live together. Please, please stop asking me out.
I lay the phone down, look up at the girl who's madly, obsessively in love with my best friend. "I'm sorry, Audra. Truly, I am."
She laughs between sobs. "This is all my fault. I knew you liked him, and everyone warned me. They said he liked you, too. But what did I do?" She lets out an anguished sniffle. "I chased him. Got drunk with him. Slept with him. Now, I'm pregnant and alone and I have no one to blame but myself."
I chew on my bottom lip, watch her crumble right before my eyes. Audra's usually cheery and friendly and outgoing, but right now, she doesn't resemble the captain of the dance team I once envied. She reminds me of a wounded, broken bird.
"This is my punishment for being so..." she seems to struggle to find the right word.
"Human?" I offer.
Audra's fragile composure seems to crack when her eyes meet mine. "You hate me, don't you?"
I shake my head. "No. I've never hated you." Well, maybe for a few weeks. But I got over it.
"Are you still in love with him?" she timidly asks, almost as if she's afraid to hear the answer.
I peer out the window, the streetlights bathing the empty square in muted yellow tones. "No."
"You got over him fast," she says before she gasps. "I didn't mean that in a bad way. I just meant I don't know if I'll ever get over him. Having to see him all the time, sharing something with him, but not ever having him. Do you want to know the worst part? I'm so pathetic I ask him to rub my feet because it's the only way he'll touch me. I...," she lets out a frustrated sigh, "I just want to be close to him. It's killing me that he won't let me. He won't even hug me or, at the very least, hold my hand."
My heart sinks even lower. Audra and I aren't so different. We both were in love with the same person for years. While I masked my true feelings, loving Matt from a safe distance, Audra had always actively pursued him. But while Audra was honest and forthcoming, I kept hoping Matt would figure out how I felt on his own.
I'm not sure what's more depressing: loving someone out in the open and getting rejected, or loving them quietly, hoping they eventually notice?
"You're not pathetic," I finally say, causing Audra to wince. "Maybe you were a little too aggressive with him, and you shouldn't have slept with him the way you did, but he also willingly participated. He asked you to Prom. He went to that party with you. He kept seeing you afterwards."
"That's true," she nods her head slowly,
"You need to focus on you right now," I tell her. "Have you told your parents what's going on?"
"My parents are traveling a lot right now," she blurts out, "and I was supposed to go with them, but they didn't want to be away from home—from my doctor—for that long. I'm in that huge house all alone and it's just so...lonely."
Her chest heaves and her eyes fill with more tears and every part of her just looks so hopeless.
I take a deep breath. "You should stay at my house tonight. We have a guest bedroom. And my mom makes really great coffee, even though I'm pretty sure you're supposed to be limiting your caffeine intake."
"I'm allowed one cup a day," she smiles at me as a fresh wave of tears, this time relieved ones, trickle down her cheeks.
I send Kyle a quick text, explaining what's going on, and tell him I'll call him tomorrow. Then, I'm leading Audra to my truck, the whole time she's telling me about the Gender Reveal party she's planning, her current heartache forgotten. For now.
And when I open the driver's side door and Audra asks if we can stop and grab her stuff at her house while she's buckling her seatbelt, I realize a sad truth. Audra doesn't have parents like mine who never would have left me alone all summer long while pregnant with some guy's baby. Danny and Nora wouldn't have either. Tommy, who's back home in California now, would be here for me, too.
So, when I pull into our driveway, get Audra situated in the guest bedroom down the hall, I pad along the white carpeted floor to Mom and Dad's room.
I knock gently, wait until I hear Mom's voice on the other side telling me I can come in.
