AllFreeNovel
Share Us
The corner of his mouth tugs into a crooked smile. "I know."
I swallow hard, hoping he really does believe me. Believe that I'm being honest with him. He's all I want. I can't even imagine doing what I just did with him, being naked and vulnerable, with anyone else. Thinking about it just makes me want to throw up.
I decide to change the subject to keep the night from ending on such a terrible note.
"How did you get Walter to let you take me up there?" I ask.
"Sophomore and Junior year of high school I worked at the coffee bar in the afternoons. I'd stay late and clean the building after everyone left," he reveals.
"How did I not know this?" I gape at him. He was a barista? And a janitor? But his parents have so much money, why would he need a job?
He chuckles lightly. "Pretty sure you were preoccupied with...other things."
Matt.
"I'm sorry," I offer, not sure what else to say.
"You don't have to do that," Kyle's fingers find my cheek. "You don't ever have to apologize to me about your feelings for him."
"OK," I nod my head, overwhelmed by how understanding and kind and gentle he is with me, with my heart.
"I saved up all the money I made working for Walter to buy my car," he explains.
"Why didn't..." but I trail off. Maybe asking him why his parents didn't buy him a vehicle when they bought Matt one is too intrusive, crossing too many blurry lines. It's not really any of my business, anyway.
"I like working for the things I have," Kyle continues. "My parents could have bought my car for me, but I wanted to do it. My parents won't always be around and it's important to me that I'm able to take care of myself. They pay for my college tuition, but I've always worked to pay rent for my living space and food."
I rub his arm, gaze up at him. "That's really admirable."
"I guess in a way," he lifts a shoulder, "Matt's college tuition is free since he got that scholarship, so it all evens out in the end."
"Yeah," I quietly say beside him. Except it's not the same at all. Kyle's worked his ass off for years for the things he has now. While Matt and I were goofing off at the gym, driving around on his parents’ dime, Kyle was working, building towards his future.
Kyle brings his head down, searches in the dark for my lips. I lift my chin, meet him halfway, let his mouth cover mine.
While he's kissing me, I begin to panic. I'm so young, so naïve. I've been handed pretty much everything my entire life. Even Danny's crap-hole truck with it's insulting bumper sticker and enlarged male genitalia hanging off the back end. I don't know what it's like to work for something. Sacrifice for it. Better myself for it.
My grades are a pretty good indication I lack motivation.
Did I even participate in extracurriculars?
Nope.
Not one.
I try to ignore the sinking feeling in my gut when I realize I've never worked hard for anything. Ever.
Mom may think Kyle's all wrong for me but, as his arms wrap around me, his lips stay glued to mine, I wonder if it's the other way around.
Am I all wrong for him?
Chapter 27
I sit on the front porch steps, sipping a mug of hot chocolate wearing black leggings and Kyle’s sweatshirt. It’s an overcast June morning, warmer than usual, no breeze rustling through the pines like normal. Just the sound of birds chirping and my heart pounding restlessly in my chest.
I’m up early today. So early. I just couldn’t sleep. After Kyle dropped me off, I tossed and turned in bed all night, thinking about what he said. About taking care of himself, not relying on his parents.
Maybe I should get a job. Dad puts money into my bank account every month. Like $250 or something like that. To buy food or clothes or school stuff. I don’t use it that often. But it just feels...wrong now. To take his money and not earn it. Maybe I could see if he needs some help with filing or something down in the basement?
