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Matt shakes his head, starts to say something about me driving with them, but Audra stops him, reminds him there's no room in his mom's car because she's tagging along. Four seats and four people. There's just not enough space.
The auditorium is still loud and bright and crowded, but I don't seem to hear or see anything except Kyle's chocolatey-brown eyes and the crooked smile on his face as we walk beside each other, our arms brushing. I want to reach out and hold his hand, but Matt and Audra are walking in front of us and I'm afraid they'll see.
I slide into the passenger seat of Kyle’s shiny black car, my arms full of flowers and my cap and gown. Kyle takes it all from me, throws it into the backseat, makes a comment about his car smelling like a fucking florist shop, which makes me giggle. I keep my eyes on him as he closes my door, walks around the front of the car and gets in next to me.
The silence is charged, bated, stifling as we drive through town and head higher up the mountain to have dinner with our families. Neither of us speak, but I can feel the tension, heavy and thick and so freakinghot, as he drives beside me, his eyes darting over to me every few seconds. My pulse is pounding in my ears and the blood is rushing through my veins and I want to ask Kyle if he feels it, too.
But I don't have to because he reaches over, wraps his hand around mine. I smile down at our palms and fingers trapped together. I lightly trace the vein that begins at his knuckles and disappears into his wrist.
"Are you giving me the silent treatment again?" he asks, his voice light, joking.
I shake my head, look over at him, see the oncoming headlights and taillights casting white and red flashes across his handsome face.
"No," I say quietly.
"I was going to call you." His hand grips mine tighter. "At least a dozen times. I just...didn't know what to say."
"I'm kind of glad you didn't," I confess. "It helped me figure some things out."
There's a lull in conversation, just the sound of the radio playing faintly in the background and the gentle thuds and knocks of the car on the uneven, black-paved road.
"And what have you figured out?" Kyle breaks the silence.
I lean my head back against the soft headrest, peer over at him. "That sometimes you don't really know what you want until you have another choice."
He lets out a deep breath, keeps his eyes focused on the road, but I feel the heat rolling off his body, watch the corner of his eyes crinkle.
"I know you have a life in Boulder and I'm not there yet," I clear my throat, "but I really, really want to be with you. If there's any chance…"
His fingers grip mine even tighter, and his hand is warm, and it feels like it was made just for mine to cling to.
He looks over at me, a huge smile on his gorgeous face. "Come to Boulder next weekend."
I bite my lower lip, feel my stomach flutter at the thought of spending a few days alone with Kyle. "I don't know if my mom will let me."
"I know I missed your birthday last week," his fingers drum on the steering wheel, "but I want to show you why."
"I'll ask her," I tell him. "My birthday brunch was actually really fun. It was just your mom, my mom and me. We ate tons of food and then had a spa day."
Kyle flips on the blinker. "Sounds like a blast. Matt didn't go?"
"No," I shake my head. "We're, uh, not talking much right now."
Kyle nods but doesn't say anything else.
We turn into the parking lot and Kyle pulls into an empty space, puts the car in park. His hand is still snugly fit in mine, and I decide to hold onto him as long as he lets me.
He turns his lean upper body to face me, the faint lights of the restaurant making his face glow. "Are you busy tomorrow night?"
"It's Grad Night," I divulge, watching as disappointment flashes across his dark features. It causes a slight stirring in my chest. "But I'm not going."
"Why not?"
I scrunch my nose. "Dancing in an old warehouse with a bunch of sweaty bodies and being served mocktails isn't exactly how I want to spend my Saturday night. And I don't have a dance partner, so I didn't really see the point in going."
"They're still doing the lame warehouse dance?" Kyle laughs.
"What else is there to do?" I raise my eyebrows. "Casino Night was last year. And I think they bussed the Senior class before that to Denver for an evening at Dave and Buster's."
