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Yet.
"Can you drop me off at school?" I ask Mom. "I don't want to drive—"
"I can drop you off," Kyle volunteers, a little too enthusiastically.
But Mom doesn't seem to notice. She shakes her head absentmindedly, digs through her purse looking for her car keys.
"Call me if you need a ride home," she says to me before waving goodbye and heading out the door.
I exhale when she's out of sight and raise my eyebrows at Kyle.
"What?" he lifts an innocent shoulder, bringing the steaming cup of coffee to his lips.
"I can drop you off," I mimic in a high-pitched voice. "Try to make it more obvious next time."
He laughs, takes another sip of coffee. "Go get ready, Jenny. You're going to be late for school."
"Yes, Dad," I roll my eyes, grab the half-eaten bowl of Fruit Loops off the table.
I set the bowl in the sink as I feel Kyle's hand wrap around my forearm, his body leans against mine from behind. The warmth and pressure and nearness make my heart go haywire. "You can save that nickname for later."
Holy crap.
I can't seem to catch my breath as he releases me, resumes his spot by the coffee maker, smirks as he takes another sip of his stupid black coffee.
—
The cafeteria is unusually loud today. Or maybe it's the subtle ache around my eyes, my forehead, the top of my head from the lack of sleep and the sobbing I did into my pillow last night.
I tried my best to hide the dark circles under my eyes, but I can tell by the pitiful looks Fallon keeps giving me that they're still visible beneath the layers and layers of concealer. Can't seem to get anything past her. Not the slump in my shoulders, the heaviness in my walk, or the one-word answers. She hasn't asked what happened. I think she can tell I'm not in the mood to talk.
We eat silently, neither of us looking anywhere but at our food. I want to tell her about Matt and Audra and the baby, but I know I can't. If I tell her, she might tell someone else. And then it will have an avalanche effect and the whole town will know in a matter of seconds. It's better to let Matt and Audra figure things out first before they share their...news.
In my peripheral vision, I see the source of all my problems walking towards us wearing jeans and a bulky navy sweater. Fallon stiffens as Audra gets closer, motions subtly to let me know she's got my back.
"Hi Jenny," Audra greets me when she reaches our table. She gives me one of her stunning smiles, like the ones she gives a crowd when she's performing. Except she's not. And her randomly seeking me out is totally out of the norm. People are going to notice.
Maybe she doesn't care.
"What can I help you with, Audra?" I ask as I set my turkey sandwich on my brown paper lunch bag.
She looks around nervously, crosses her arms over her chest. "Is Matt not here today?"
I chew on my bottom lip, decide I'm really tired of being nice all the time. "You have his phone number. Why don't you ask him yourself."
"I would," her grey eyes plead with me, "but he's ignoring me."
I hate that she sounds so...desperate. Then again, she must be if she's willing to ask pathetic Jenny where her baby daddy is.
"I'm sure when he's ready, he'll call you," I tell her.
"Do you know?" she asks. I watch her bottom lip quiver, her delicate throat bob as she swallows. I hope she doesn't start crying. I'm not sure I can handle that right now.
I've never been good at lying, so I decide to stick with the truth. "He told me last night."
She runs a hand through her long, brown hair. "I'm sorry I called you pathetic, Jenny. It's me. I'm the one who's pathetic." She pauses, chews on the inside of her cheek. "If you see him, can you tell him...tell him that I'm so sorry? I…" Her eyes fill with tears, and she clutches a hand to her heart, like it's aching from everything she's going through. "Just tell him I'm really sorry."
Audra tries to hide the tear that slips down her cheek before turning on her heel and hurrying out of the cafeteria. I don't know where she's going, but I hate that I feel sorry for her. Hate that she sounded so genuine and sincere and apologetic.
