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I step forward, wrap my arms around his neck. "I love you."
He kisses me, molds his lips to mine, lingers longer than he should in a hospital hallway before pulling away. "I love you, too, Jenny."
I watch as he stalks off after Mom before I turn around, peer at the grey door with the white 304 painted on it.
Taking a deep breath, I turn the cool knob in my hand, open the door. Audra's face lights up when she sees me. Matt's fluffing pillows behind her head. He has to keep his hands busy when he's fidgety, nervous.
"We're going to have a baby!" she yells at me.
I laugh at her excitement. "I know."
"She's coming three weeks early, but the doctor said she should be fine," Audra explains.
I take a seat at the edge of her hospital bed, my lilac dress billowing near my calves. I'm careful to avoid wires and tubes and whatever else they have her hooked up to. A monitor beeps, a blood pressure cuff on her right arm starts to inflate, she takes a deep breath, lifts her hospital gown to itch beneath the scratchy-looking belt over her swollen belly.
"You're coming to the wedding still, right?"
I nod my head. "Of course."
"I need to ask you a question," she swallows nervously, her dark hair pulled into a high ponytail, tiny frizzy strands around her temple. "Will you be my maid of honor?"
My eyes flick to Matt. He's staring at me, suddenly uninterested in the pillows he was busy maneuvering behind her. He thinks I should say 'no'. I can tell by the way he subtly shakes his head, rubs the back of his neck roughly.
I can't breathe as I try to come up with some excuse why I can't.
Because you'll be standing right beside her, looking at Matt as he promises to love her until death.
Because even though he's supposed to be moving on, he's looking at you like still wants you.
Because...because...
"I would love to," I tell her.
Matt closes his eyes before striding past me, out of the room.
"Thank you, Jenny," Audra reaches out a hand, pats my arm. "I don't have anyone else."
"I know," I nod. "So, have we decided on a name for this little girl yet?"
Audra shakes her head. "I don't want to name her until I see her."
I tuck my feet beneath me as I get comfortable. We talk about how much sleep she knows she's going to lose, how she hopes she can breastfeed to save money on formula, how she still wants to go to California in a few weeks to look for apartments so she can start her first semester at Pepperdine.
Nurses wander in and out, the monitor continues to beep, her contractions show up on the screen, but she says she can't feel them, the blood pressure cuff inflates, deflates every fifteen minutes. She gets tired, wants to rest. I collect my things and head out of the room.
Matt's sitting against the wall, his head in his hands. I slide down beside him. "Are you ready?"
He shakes his head, won't look at me.
"You're going to be a dad," I state. He doesn't reply. "For what it's worth, I hope she has your eyes."
He lifts his head, looks at me. "You should go."
"What?" I furrow my eyebrows, confused.
"You should go," he says again, his face devoid of emotion.
"Why?" I shake my head.
