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A few minutes later, I found Matt on the front steps of our high school, his head in his hands. By the way his shoulders were shaking, I knew he was crying.
Dropping our backpacks, I sat down beside him and placed my hand lightly on his back.
“Matt?”
When he looked at me, my whole heart felt crushed. His hazelnut eyes were glassed over, a few tears streaking down his perfect face. He wiped his nose and shook his head.
“He’s an asshole,” I told him.
“Worse,” Matt gave me a small smile. “He's an asswipe. He’s the shitty toilet paper you flush down the drain.”
“He’s totally an asswipe,” I chuckled.
“I don’t get why he did that,” Matt shrugged, confused and perplexed and hurt.
“Maybe he’s jealous of you,” I offered. That’s usually what Mom said when Colleen was mean to me.
“That was the single most embarrassing moment of my life,” he exhaled, defeated. “I can’t go back in there.”
I moved my hand from his back to his shoulder, wrapping my whole arm around him. “It could have been worse. You could have been wearing nothing under your jeans.”
Matt laughed. “I think it’s time to invest in some new, cooler underwear.”
“Just promise me you won’t buy one of those man thongs Tommy keeps talking about,” I joked.
“Can’t make any promises,” Matt teased.
“You wanna ditch today?” I asked as the cool, fall breeze ruffled his golden-brown hair.
“Arcade?”
“Arcade,” I agreed.
“Hey Jen,” Matt called as I stood up, grabbed my backpack and started skipping down the stairs.
“Yeah?” I replied as I watched him bend down to pick up his backpack. He hopped down the stairs after me.
“Thank you.”
“It’s what friends are for,” I raised a shoulder at him.
When he stopped in front of me, he placed a hand on my shoulder, swiped a stray piece of blond hair from my face. “I was scared there for a minute. That you would disown me for wearing whitey tighties and getting pantsed in front of the cool table. But now I know you always have my back. And I always have yours.”
“Doesn’t matter what you do,” I smirked. “You can’t lose me. You’re stuck with me for life.”
I meant it then. I would always have his back.
I mean it still.
“Same, Jen,” he scrunched his face. “Now, let’s try to win you that big blue monkey.”
Kyle’s dark eyes assessing me draws me from the memory freshman year.
I place a hand gently on his thigh over the blanket.
“You can’t lose me unless you walk away,” I tell him. “But part of loving me means you love all of me. I can’t give up my friendship with Matt for you. He’s part of the deal. I promise you I won’t cross any lines and, just so you know, I didn’t last night. Maybe I shouldn’t have told him not to propose to Audra, but I wasn’t saying that because I don’t want him to get married. I said it because your mom gives him terrible advice and he listens to her. She gave him your grandmother’s ring and told him he should propose. I don’t think he should ask Audra just because your mom is dying and he’s trying to make her happy. Audra deserves better than that. So does Matt."
Kyle’s hand lays over mine on his leg. “You’re right.”
