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Oh no. More tears.
I know these images aren't worth much to someone who might wander in off the street, but as I look around at all the black and white stills, windows into his world—and mine—I know now that I'm in love with him.
So madly in love with him.
It's just there's this annoying, nagging feeling in the pit of my stomach, reminding me that we're in completely different places in our lives. He's accomplished so much in such a short amount of time. While I...well, I've been...
I...I don't know if it's because I'm terrified of this. Whatever it is we're doing. The newness of it. Or of the life that he's been building here while I've been...lost, trying to find myself, but the incessant worry that I won't be able to keep his interest for too long rears its ugly head. Again.
I don't know how to compete with all of this. Not when this place will soon be brimming with artists and connoisseurs of fine art and latte drinkers. Other talented, successful, brilliant people. People more like him.
Kyle has it all together.
And me?
I'm getting paid minimum wage to bring Mom coffee.
"You alright?" Kyle asks me, his thumb smoothing the frown lines across my forehead.
For a moment, I melt into his touch the way snow dissipates on the mountain beneath the glaring rays of the sun each spring.
He wants me. I wouldn't be here if he didn't.
I decide it's best not to worry about what might happen right now. Or that he's almost done with school, building a business, a future. He knows what he wants out of life while I'm just starting out, not even sure what to major in.
I'm in love with him.
Sigh.
And maybe I'm too young, too naïve to understand what all of this really means, what it could mean down the line, how it could break my heart in ways I couldn't possibly imagine.
I...
I love him.
"I'm so shocked and surprised and stunned," I offer with a small shrug.
He kisses me again, his mouth warm and wet and wanting.
"We have dinner reservations," Kyle smiles down at me. "We should get going. It's a bit of a drive."
—
He flicks on the lights as we stumble into the living room, kicking off our shoes and dropping my bag by the front door.
"My roommate is out of town for the weekend," Kyle mumbles against my lips.
My hands find his face and slides through his hair, pulling it loose from the product he has in it.
I don't pay any attention to his living space as we make our way through it, our lips glued together. He leads the way to his bedroom, flicking on more lights as we go, slipping off his belt when we reach the door. As we tumble into the dimly lit space, arms and tongues tangled together, his hands venture down, gripping the hem of my dress. He slides it over my head, inhales sharply when he sees the red, lacy bra and matching underwear set I picked out just for him. He fingers the lace tenderly, a dangerous smile on his face, the corners of his eyes crinkling with something mischievous and lustful.
"Sexy," he mutters while fumbling with the clasp on my bra, guiding the fabric off me, tossing it behind him.
I start unbuttoning his shirt as his hands find my breasts, kneading them roughly. I gasp when his thumbs swipe across my nipples, hardening them instantly. Then another gasp as his mouth finds the delicate skin between my neck and collar bone and he sucks lightly, teasing me as I struggle to remove his shirt.
"Kyle," I quietly moan, "help me."
He shoves the material down his arms, and I watch as it sails to the floor. His pants follow next. Then he's grabbing a condom from the table beside his bed.
