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I didn't know what it was—some six-year-old girl still living inside me who turned into a needy child at the sight of my dad, but I started really crying then.
I could hear Amy's voice distantly trying to comfort me, but it was my father's voice that penetrated—the same voice that knew how to pick me up and dust me off for as long as I could remember. "Reagan, Reagan, take a breath. Calm down," my dad coaxed.
"Now, tell me honestly, do I need to go find this man who knocked up my daughter and kick his ass? I mean, what exactly are we working with here?" he asked calmly. At that moment, I wished more than anything that I could go through that screen and hug my dad. I could hear his calm, measured voice, the same voice that he would use with one of his own clients as a lawyer. Except when it was directed at me, it was full of love. He was doing the same thing he did when I was a kid, and I was upset: calm me down and ask me to calmly look at all the details before I rushed to any conclusions.
So, I did what he trained me to do since I'd been in diapers: I laid out the information and as I did so, the whole situation became less scary. Suddenly, I felt a little more capable of handling what was to come, even if I had to do it with a broken heart.
"I can already tell that you're reaching some conclusion, though I'm not sure what," my dad said. "But I will say this, Reagan—this Adam guy has a lot going on between Wolfie and this new baby. And I am not defending this man, but it sounds to me like he was struggling with a bit of shock, maybe."
"But he's been hinting at being more than just friends for a while now," Amy added.
"Yeah, that's true," I acknowledged.
"So, let me ask you this, my darling: why do you find it so hard to believe that this man might be telling the truth?"
I was silent for a long moment before I finally admitted truthfully, "Maybe I don't find it so hard to believe now that I stop and think about it. He's not the kind of man to say things just for the hell of it. In fact, it's rather obnoxious, but the fact is that he only says what he means."
"But something is holding you back," my dad pushed.
"So, he loves me…now. What happens when he decides he doesn't anymore?"
I saw an expression cross my father's features, and it struck me deeply. I had felt that very same expression cross my features every time I got even the barest hint that Wolfie was upset. Here I was, an established professional, a grown woman, and my father still had that worry for me.
My father's tone was measured as he said calmly, "Sweetheart, you can't go into relationships constantly worrying about being left. I understand why you do, and if I could fix it for you—if I could have made that easier for you, don't you know I would go back in time and do it? That could not have been easy for you, everything that went down between your mother and me. But it did end up working out exactly the way it was supposed to, even as hard as it was for a while. You're going to have to take a leap of faith and trust that it will fall into place exactly the way it is supposed to. I mean, you have to admit the circumstances that brought you two together do feel a little…" he trailed off, struggling to find the right word.
"Meant to be," Amy supplied.
I saw an expression pass over my father's face, and I knew he wasn't exactly thrilled about talking about "meant to be" and all that stuff with his daughter, but he reluctantly agreed with his wife. "The only other thing I can tell you, Reagan, is that when it's the right person, it's worth the risk. Ask me how I know that?" he said, looking down fondly at his wife. "And there are a lot of times that it doesn't make sense, and it's an inconvenience, and it threatens to upend your world, but somehow, it's all worth it—but only if you put yourself all in."
"He's right, Rea," Amy chimed in. "And regardless of what happens with Adam, you also need to remember that you have all of us behind you and supporting you in any way that you need or want, don't forget that."
"That's right, whatever you decide, we're here for you. If you want us to cheer you on so you can go after this Adam guy, we'll do that. If you want me to fly out to New York, so I can kick his ass, I'll do that, too," he offered.
I huffed out a small laugh. "Thanks, Dad. I love you both more than you can ever know."
"I love you more," my dad said.
I assured them that I would be okay, and we said our goodbyes. My mind was still a swirl, but at least my stomach quit rolling back and forth. I felt a little stronger to pick myself up and make it to my bedroom. The last couple weeks, carrying around the secret, and the whole day and all its events crashed down on me. Suddenly, all I wanted to do was crawl into bed, I was so exhausted.
I tossed and turned, but in between that, I had dreams about Adam and Wolfie, and the giggling chubby cheeks of a baby who looked just like his father.
***
The next morning, I trudged to work.
Amy and Dad definitely made me feel better, but I was still unsure as to what I wanted to say to Adam because I was sticking to my guns about the whole marriage thing. There was no way I was up for it unless I was one hundred percent sure that he was asking me because he actually wanted to spend the rest of his life with me, and not out of any sense of obligation.
I was walking through the lobby doors of the office when I saw a familiar face, Brian.
"Hey, Reagan," he said with a bright smile. "I owe you a congratulations."
"I'm sorry, what?"
"Yeah, Adam told me the big news. It’s exciting, a little out of nowhere, but I fully support both of you," he added.
"Adam told you? That's not his information to give out at the moment," I said through gritted teeth, irritation rising in me. Adam had no right to share the news about the baby just yet.
Brian's brow furrowed. "Um, considering that you and I used to be an item, I guess he thought it was just a courtesy to let me know that he's in love with my ex-girlfriend—I didn't know it was this big secret."
