AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“Oh.” I reach up to rub my fingers across them. “No. I’m fine. I just got a little overheated reading by the fire. Thought I’d take Meera out for a ride.”
“I’m sure she’ll be happy to see you.” Kaia tilts her head and studies me for a moment. “Are you all right?”
It takes everything I have to retain my composure and offer her a small smile.
“Of course. Just feeling a little restless today.”
She nods slowly, as if she doesn’t quite believe me but is too polite to say.
“Well, I should get going.”
I move to step around her and pause. I should just go. But I can’t stop myself from asking the question.
“We’re friends, right?”
A small crease forms between her eyebrows. “Of course we are. Why do you ask?”
“I’ve never really had friends before.” I fix her with a pointed stare. “People are all too often eager to betray you.”
She crosses her arms over her middle, gripping her elbows, and nods. I get the sense my words struck closer to home than I want them to, but I’m not entirely sure she’s talking about me when she replies.
“Yes. They can be. Which is why true friends are hard to come by. And I have always tried to be a true friend to you.”
I swallow hard. I don’t want to believe her. But her words ring true to me. Whatever Thieran has been plotting, I don’t think Kaia knows about it. And that, at least, eases some small part of the hurt inside me.
“Go,” she says, pulling me from my thoughts. “Enjoy your ride. I’m here to talk later if you need to.”
I smile again, but I can tell by the look on her face it’s not as bright and eager as I tried to make it. Before she can ask me anything more, I skirt around her and head for the barn behind the farmhouse.
Meera nickers in greeting, but even she can sense my mood, her ears flattening as I cover her back with a soft blanket and fit her saddle. She dances and snorts when I seat myself, resisting me when I guide her out to the stretch of field behind the barn.
“Enough,” I snap, kicking her into a fast trot. “We’re leaving.”
She snorts again but obeys my command until we’re galloping toward the cropping of trees hiding part of Thieran’s wards from view of the palace. I force myself not to look back at the stretch of black and glass towering over the landscape as Meera eats up the ground beneath us.
It would do me no good anyway. I’m resolved to leave now, and I can’t afford any more distractions. Especially not the tug of my traitorous heart.
Chapter Thirty-Six
Now that our shouting match has devolved into stony silence, Railan sits across from me, hands clenched into fists on his thighs, eyes hard. I know what he wants from me. And I know I can’t give it to him.
But he isn’t wrong when he says the situation is dire. I feel the Shadow Realm weakening more by the day. Kaia asked me about it at dinner last night. I deflected, but I know she’ll figure it out soon enough if she hasn’t already. And then I’ll have both of them whispering in my ear about using the only solution I’ve managed to find. The only one I cannot go through with.
Sacrificing Elora hasn’t been an option for weeks, and it’s even less of one after last night. I intend to keep the promise I made to her in the dark. To protect her—for as long as there is breath in my lungs. Because if I have to choose between my existence and Elora’s, I will choose hers every time.
Which is why I slipped out of bed early this morning, intent on doing more research into finding this missing book. The ritual it contains is my only hope, my best lead, and I will search for it until I find it or the Shadow Realm fractures into nothingness. Whichever comes first.
Something Railan didn’t like when I informed him of my intentions. He doesn’t have to like it. He only needs to obey. No one knows better than I do what’s at stake if the Shadow Realm were to fall. I’m going to do my best to make sure that doesn’t happen. But not at Elora’s expense.
I’m feeding the realm my blood multiple times a day, allowing me to maintain control of it all for now. Garrick’s reports grow more fraught, focused especially on the eastern border.
Whatever is infecting the realm is doing so from that distant point. But I don’t have the time to devote to figuring out what might be causing this, only to how to stop it.
“You’re not thinking clearly,” Railan says, and I can tell he’s forcing his tone to remain even.
“My thinking is fine. Your problem is I’m not doing what you want me to.”
“You’re not doing what you know you should. The realm will not last much longer. You and I both know it. And what happens when you can’t hold it?”
