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“Do you wake up abruptly when these start, or do they play through?” she asks.
I shrug my shoulders. “It varies. Sometimes I wake up, other times I don’t and in the end, when we dig her up, she’s dead. And then I wake up,”
“Other than in your sleep, do you see or hear anything when you’re awake?”
“I hear her screaming sometimes. My ears will ring and then that’s when I’ll hear her,”
“What’s she saying?” she asks.
“My name. She’s screaming my name.” I shake my head when I feel tears sting my eyes. “I almost fucking killed her. I fucking hate myself for it every day.” I say. The tears fall down my cheeks. I’m full on crying now. “I will never forget the fear in her eyes when I shut the lid. I’ll never forget her cries.”
“That’s not entirely true. You’ll forget them, but it will take time. Lots of time. And that’s what I’m here for. To help you and guide you,” Dr. Lee explains and smiles. “We’ll get through it. All of us will.”
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Delilah
It’s been a week since I’ve been to the clubhouse. Nathan let me crash with him and Theo in his spare bedroom. I haven’t left. I’ve stayed in bed. The only time I get up it to use the bathroom. I haven’t showered or eaten anything, really. I’m mentally and physically drained.
The bed shifts as Theo moves around to get comfortable again. He’s been by my side since the first night I was here. I go to pet him when a knock sounds on the door. Theo starts barking.
“Theo! Shh! It’s just your dad,” I say, trying to calm him down. “Come in!” I shout over his bark. Nathan cracks the door open and Theo quiets down.
“Hey,” he says slowly, walking in. “There’s someone here… to see you,”
“If its Issac, tell him to fuck off back to the clubhouse.”
“It’s not him” Nathan says. I look up and see Dr. Lee peeking in the door.
“Sorry to interrupt. I just want to make sure you knew it wasn’t Issac,” she said with a smile. “May I come in?” she asks.
Before I could answer, Nathan speaks up. “Of course. Theo, come,” he says, snapping his fingers. But this loyal doggo stays laying at my side.
“Oh, he’s fine. I’m sure he’ll keep whatever we say in this room,” Dr. Lee says.
“Okay,” Nathan nods. “If you need anything, I’ll be in my office.”
Dr. Lee nod and thanks Nathan. He smiles at me as I scowl at him, and then he closes the door. I focus back on Dr. Lee, who seated herself at the end of the bed. She lets Theo sniff her hand and then gives him a good head scratch.
“Nathan and Issac told me what happened with Isaiah,” she says as she continues to pet Theo.
“Did they?” I ask, trying to figure out exactly what she knows.
“I know about the club, Delilah. My husband was a part of it when we were younger,” she says, looking at me and smiles. “He’s no longer with us, but I just wanted you to know.”
“I’m sorry,”
“Don’t be. Do you want to talk about what happened when you guys went to see Isaiah?” she asks.
“Seems like Issac already told you,” I say. She nods.
“He did, but I would like to know how you feel.”
“Betrayed. Hurt. Broken” everything just starts spilling out that I’ve been holding in for so long. “I trusted him… he wanted me dead.”
Dr. Lee nods. “I’m not supposed to share anything he tells me, but I am,” she says as she gets more comfortable on the bed. “He told me that he hates himself for what he did to you. He told me that every night when he goes to sleep, he has the same dream over and over.”
“What’s the dream?” I ask.
