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“I know,” he said, his voice thick with arousal. “This is going to be hell.”
“It’s just until I heal,” I said.
He pulled me upright and brushed my slip down. His lids were heavy and his lips were parted, showing a sliver of bottom teeth. His stare was so intense it was making me feel naked.
“What is it?” I asked, fighting the urge to chew my mouth.
He blinked.
“Nothing,” he said softly. “I just got everything I ever wanted. I really believed I would never fall in love and get married. But it happened.”
I slid my arms around him and rested my head over his heart.
“It happened,” I whispered. “And now I get to annoy you for the rest of your life.”
He laughed and I wriggled out of his arms and darted out into the hall.
“Do you want a whiskey?” I asked. “I’m going to the kitchen for some ice cream.”
“That sounds perfect,” he said. “I’ll be down in a moment, cariad.”
EPILOGUE
MERRICK
TWO YEARS LATER
Clara was still out when I got home that night. It was the two-year anniversary of our legal marriage. Unfortunately, I’d had to work during the day so she’d taken herself out to the salon for a massage and to have her nails and hair done.
Which meant, of course, that I was getting laid tonight.
I went into the house through the back door. Tonight was one of those nights where Yale and I came back after a long day of more traditional mafia work and had to figure out how to get the blood off before anyone saw.
In the basement, I removed my clothes and put them directly into the washer and set it to the most powerful setting. Then I turned on the hall shower and began the slow ritual of scrubbing every inch of my body until it was purified.
Until there was no trace of violence on me.
My skin felt raw. Perhaps she would notice, but she wouldn’t say anything. She’d just put her arms around my neck and kiss me and tell me how much she loved me. She’d perfected the art of willful ignorance over the last few years.
I kept a few changes of clothes in the cabinet. Up above, I heard the front door shut and her heels sounded on the floor. I pulled on a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt and climbed the basement stairs into the kitchen.
She appeared in the doorway, holding a bag of take-out. Her eyes lit up just as I knew they would and she crossed the room and leaned in to kiss my mouth.
So sweet, so calming.
I brushed her hair back. “What’s for dinner?”
She lifted the bag onto the table and began taking cardboard boxes out and stacking them. “I went to the Italian place because they know how you like your steak. I got lasagna and chocolate cake for myself. And I had them wrap up a bottle of our favorite wine.”
I slid my arm around her from behind and gently kissed the top of her head.
“Thank you, cariad,” I whispered.
I felt her little shiver of pleasure at my touch. She never stopped having those reactions when I touched her, when I kissed her, when I fucked her in the dark.
It still felt like the world breaking apart, like the universe shifted on its axis just to make room for her, at the center of it.
We ate at the table and she went upstairs to shower and put on her silk robe. Then I opened the bottle of wine and we went out to the back porch to watch the stars come out.
