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“You don’t need to hear the details.”
My shoulders went back, spine straightening. “I’m marrying him.”
“Jesus,” Caden muttered. “Alright, Merrick tied him to a chair and he beat him to death with his fists. It wasn’t my fucking business so I just stayed back, but I’ve never seen him like that.”
“Was he…out of control?”
“No, he was ice cold. Completely in control,” Caden said. “Everything he did, every hit, was fully intentional. Merrick doesn’t lose control…at least I’ve never seen it. He means what he does.”
My mind went back to last night, which was like any other night with Merrick. We’d had dinner, had a glass of wine, and had a little sex before falling asleep in his bed. I’d woken up early and kissed him awake, tracing my fingers over the sensitive parts of him.
Over his pulse points. Dragged my nail down the V on his lower abdomen. Skimmed my fingertips along his inner thigh.
He’d been so gentle and vulnerable, like he always was with me.
Caden cleared his throat, jerking me from my reverie.
“Just because he shows a different side to you doesn’t make it any less real. Merrick is a good man. Sometimes he does bad things. But, at his core, he’s a good Brenin and, insofar as I’ve let him, he’s been a good father. He’ll be a good husband.”
I knew it took a lot for him to say that. Before I could speak, I caught a quiet step behind me and I turned to find Merrick.
In the doorway, arms crossed.
“What are you two doing?” he asked. “I hope you’re not giving her cigarettes, Caden.”
“She smoked a whole pack,” he drawled.
“Get the fuck out of here,” Merrick said, joining me on the deck. His arm slipped around my waist and he pulled me back against his body.
“I’m about to,” Caden said. “Before this gets too close for comfort.”
He and Merrick spoke briefly in the kitchen. They were talking about Wyoming—I could hear fragments of sentences. I no longer cared to know what was going on in the organization. Their world of fighting and dying, of blood and power, wasn’t mine.
Caden drove off on his motorcycle and I went back into the kitchen and started drying the dishes. Merrick appeared behind me, wincing slightly as I slammed the porcelain bowls into the cupboard.
“Something wrong, cariad?” he asked.
I shook my head and slammed the cupboard door. His big hands wrapped around my waist and he picked me up and lifted me onto the edge of the counter. Pinning me in place with his grip on my wrists.
“What’s wrong?”
I sighed, chewing that spot.
“Hey,” he said softly. “Don’t bite yourself, just talk to me.”
I swallowed, trying to speak without tearing up.
“This is all…just…a lot,” I managed.
His face cleared slowly and he nodded. “I see…you’re starting to realize why Caden doesn’t want anyone to know he’s my son. I understand. It’s hard to be associated with me.”
“Merrick, it’s not that,” I said in a rush. “I’m not ashamed, that’s ridiculous.”
“I never said you were. But you are overwhelmed by it.”
Disputing that would be a lie. I released a sigh and nodded and he winced slightly, turning to look over my head. His gaze was a pale blue in the waning light.
My fingers twisted into a knot in my lap.
