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Hearing their movement in the house makes her move for the first time since he left hours ago. She pulls the torn shirt from her body and drops it into her trash basket. She throws her pants to the side. She puts on the biggest, bulkiest sweatshirt she owns and climbs under the covers where she lies silently looking up at the ceiling.
Her throat hurts. Her scalp hurts. Her soul hurts.
Yet somehow all she can think about is what she did wrong to deserve what he did.
The closer the cascade of emotion comes to pouring out of her soul, the faster Callie walks into the wild woods surrounding Raven’s house. Follow the voice. She must follow the voice. Let it drown out her own inner monologue. Maybe if she can save the day, if she can bring Willow home… she could fix everything wrong with her life right now.
It was never supposed to be like this. Callie has been in love with Raven since that first touch when her soft skin sent ripples through everything Callie thought she knew about life. Raven has been the only person Callie has ever loved. Period. She is just it. She thought that Raven felt the same way all these years. They were best friends. They were lovers. They were everything to each other.
Until five months ago.
Callie had been offered a once in a lifetime kind of job five hours away from their tiny hometown. They had been talking about Callie finding something like this to build their lives on. She had been overjoyed and rushed to tell Raven. Raven immediately celebrated with her. They drank champagne and giggled together all night. The next morning something had changed. Callie woke up, still glowing from a night of joy and lovemaking, but Raven had turned cold and they were never the same again.
She never even got the chance to tell Raven how this was all a part of a plan for them both, how this was how Callie envisioned giving Raven everything she deserved. She wanted to grow in her career so she could take care of Raven. This could be a life they would build together, but Raven had ended things and told Callie to move on without her. Callie had been crushed. She had yelled and cried and begged. She had offered to turn the job down and stay. She had said anything and everything to make the hurt stop. She couldn’t bare the thought of losing this person that saved her so long ago. This person who had been her everything for nearly thirteen years.
There was no reasoning for what had happened. There was no precursor. There was no lead up. Raven simply said she wasn’t in love with Callie anymore and it had nearly broken Callie to hear her say it so casually. Like she was discussing the weather.
Today is the first time they have seen or spoken to one another since the demise of their relationship and it appears that Raven has led their friends to believe it had been Callie’s undoing. Talk about salt in open wounds.
Why? Why would she make Callie shoulder the responsibility for the thing she had so deeply not wanted in the first place. Why right now?
Now that he was back.
Just like that, like thinking of his existence has signaled him to her presence, Callie could swear she hears his whisper over the breeze instead of Willow’s.
“Hello, lover.”
She stands at attention, frozen and wiping the tears from her eyes. Checking her surroundings for any sign of disturbance. She is now on high alert.
He can’t be here.
Why had she come here, into these woods? She made herself an easy target.
Standing stone still, she listens intently. The sound of a twig snapping behind her sets her pulse racing. Before she can spin around to look she feels his breath on her neck. She freezes and doesn’t dare move.
“I’ve missed you, lover.”
Her own breathing has now become shallow and harsh with fear. Panic settles into her chest.
“I can’t stay to play yet, but I’ll be back for you soon,” his words echo in her ears, and then, just as quickly as he came, he is gone into the dark quiet of the woods.
Callie puts her hands on her knees and hangs her head, bracing herself so she doesn’t fall to the ground.
“Fuck!” She screams into the wide open sky.
She wanted this moment to try and fix what was broken and all it did was leave her vulnerable to him. She had spent every day since his first attack on her preparing for what she would do if she ever had to see him again, learning how to take care of herself, and when it happened all the things she had learned went right out the window. She had frozen.
“Fuck, fuck, FUCK,” she again screams into the wind.
He really is back.
With that final realization, Callie turns and makes her way back to the house in a dead run. He told her he couldn’t stay, but she knows he will be back and she doesn’t want to be out here all alone when he shows up.
And Raven.
She doesn’t care what has happened between them, she wants to make sure Raven is safe. She needs to see her and just know.
And Emily and Sam, as well.
