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I started searching myself trying to track her down and racking my brain to think of why she would have left. I talked to her friends, her old associates from the bar, people she played music with, anyone who might know something. And it all had led me to nothing. I had nothing to show for it.
But now after hiring a professional, I had the answers I was searching for. It had taken him six weeks to find her. I never would have come up with this on my own. I owed Jeremy a lot more than he had charged me. I would make it up to him some way.
I finally made it to Boulder about noon the next day. It wasn’t hard to find Laney’s place either. When I got there, I discovered I was insane with anxiety and nervous tension. I had to get this out of me. I had to take it easy. It would be alright.
But I had no way of knowing that. I didn’t even know if she would talk to me. She might hate me for all I know. She might blame me for feeling the way she felt to do what she did.
And I wouldn’t have blamed her one bit. I couldn’t blame her. She did what she thought was right, what she thought I would have asked her to do. Had I really been that insensitive about her wants and needs? I never asked her if she wanted kids of her own one day. I’d selfishly assumed that Jack would be enough. I knew she loved Jack, but Laney deserved to have biological children of her own one day as well. I respected that.
I knocked on the door and waited for the inevitable. To my surprise Laney opened the door quickly after I knocked.
There she was. My angel. Wow, she looked incredible.
The look on her face was one of total bewilderment. She was shocked and she was confused. She did not expect to ever see me again.
Chapter 18
Laney
This wasn’t happening. He wasn’t here. It couldn’t be… but he was… yes, there he was right in front of me. He was live in the flesh standing in my doorway. I couldn’t believe it. I just couldn’t believe this was really happening.
“Hey, Laney,” Mason said.
Oh, his voice. I missed his sweet, deep, masculine voice. I missed everything about him so much. He was all I’d thought about since I had left. Every single day I kept reminding myself what a stupid mistake it was and how I was going to go back home and admit I’d made a horrible mistake. And then I said I’d do it tomorrow. And then I said the same thing the next day and the next day. It was all over.
I’d been caught.
“You look great,” Mason said.
“Thanks,” I replied. “So, do you.”
He smiled. “Can I come in? I really need to talk with you.”
I wasn’t sure I should let him in, but I couldn’t help myself. I stepped back and opened the doorway for him. “Sure.”
I closed the door behind him as he entered. Then I led him to the couch.
“Baby,” Mason said. “I’ve missed you so much. Why did you leave? Why did you leave me?”
I felt the tears coming hard down my face. “I’m sorry. I had to. I found out I was pregnant and I knew it would wreck everything. I couldn’t bear to tell you and face the music of whatever might happen, so I made that stuff up about having to leave town. I’m so sorry. I should have been strong enough to tell you the truth, but I was afraid to see that disappointment and disgust look on your face.”
“Honey, you really thought I would kick you out of my life over this?” Mason asked.
“I wasn’t sure, but I figured even if you tried to do the right thing that eventually you would reach your limit with it and tell me to leave. I couldn’t stand that idea. I just couldn’t stand that.”
“You should have given me a chance,” Mason said. “But I understand why you were afraid to. I was insensitive. I didn’t think about all the implications of what I was saying when I told you that I never wanted anymore children. I was wrong. I’m sorry. I should have talked with you. I should have explained things better. And you should have felt like you could come to me and talk about things. That was my fault. I’m so sorry that you felt that you had to leave.”
“I’m sorry, too. I wish I had just stayed and talked to you. I’m not sure why I got so scared. I’ve regretted it every single day since then.”
“I love you,” Mason said. “I still love you more than words can express.”
I wiped a tear from my eye and I said, “I love you, too. I’ve missed you so much.”
