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I yanked the blanket higher and dropped my head into my blanketed hands, ready to scream into the plush fabric.
“I ruined it,” I mumbled.
“I doubt it,” Ali huffed and placed a hand on my shoulder, gently coaxing me away from the safety of the blanket. “We knew this was a possibility when you accepted a job with a non-profit.”
“Yeah, but I thought it was just apossibility, like a far offmaybe, not an ‘in one year’ type of thing.”
“I know,” Ali said with a frown. She patted my leg in an awkward way to comfort me. She wasn’t a hugger. “You’ll figure something out. I know it. I believe in you.”
“At least one of us does.”
CHAPTER6
ZACH
Jessa hadn’t textedme back.
She probably hadn’t even read the text that I had sent her.
Now I felt like a total moron.
I chewed on my mouth guard as I watched my teammates practice drills. My right leg was bobbing up and down anxiously, skate tapping against the worn wood.
“Chill, man,” defenseman Owens grumbled. “What’s up your ass?”
“Nothing,” I replied.
“Doesn’t seem like nothing.”
I wasn’t getting into this with him. He was new to the team, with only one season under his belt, so he had no idea how long I had been on this damn team. How long I had been in the AHL.
Owens was some hotshot rookie draft, and he was bound to be called up this season and he wouldn’t return. We’d get some ECHL defenseman to fill his place, and shit would continue as usual.
He was temporary, but there were some people on this team who were permanent. I didn’t want to be lumped into that category, but this was my fourth season with the Hammerheads. I didn’t want to be a fixture, a familiar face for the team, like our captain, Sterling.
He was considered a senior citizen in the hockey world, still playing at thirty-seven. He was raised in Hartford, lived in Hartford, and played for the Hartford team. AHL was his life, his career, and what he would keep doing until he no longer could. He was perfectly content here.
I wasn’t.
Sure, I was raised here, but it was never where I wanted to remain. Even if there was an NHL team here, I would have prayed as hard as I could have that I wouldn’t be stuck on that team.
Being here meant my grandfather could come to every game, every practice, and tell me that my desire to be in the NHL was simply a pipe dream and I should just get a real job. It was harder to ignore his criticism when he was spitting it in my face instead of over the phone.
And I knew that as soon as practice finished, I’d get an earful from him about something I did wrong on the ice. Something I needed to work on, something I needed to stop, and it would all be followed up by a reminder that this wasn’t arealjob in his eyes.
I made more money than my grandfather ever had. I was a professional hockey player, but because I wasn’t in the NHL, Grandpa Stanley thought I was just skating around for pennies.
I was paid well—not as well as if I actually was in the NHL, but comfortably. I was comfortable enough to have a home in Hempstead, close to the Serpents’ stadium in Elmont. When the season was over, I’d head back there and leave Hartford in the past for the off-season.
My name was called, and I hopped over the boards, catching up with our goalie, Evans, as we skated laps as a warm-up. When we transitioned to stretches around center ice, Coach Wilkens divided us into three-on-three teams, and I was on the first line.
I stayed on the ice with the teammates I’d be playing with and against, thankful I had taped my shoulder to avoid aggravating it further.
I didn’t want to admit that I had pushed myself too hard during the first weeks of practice. I was a little too stubborn to even think about that being the reason for my pain.
I scored twice during my first shift, able to quickly secure the puck from Rook, who cursed the entire time. At shift change, he bumped against me, grumbling about how he needed to start showing up early to practice like me.
Ignoring him, I peered across to where my grandfather was sitting in the stands with a handful of spectators and frowned. He was shaking his head, big, dramatic shakes left and right.
