Page 37 of A Divided Heart


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Chapter 34

At forty-thousand feet, I feasted on Brant with an urgency that surprised us both, his mouth dropping when I yanked at his zipper and pulled out his cock. "Here?" he whispered, the question morphing into a groan when I took him soft in my mouth. He began to harden almost instantly. Against my tongue, he thickened, and I had to pull off and readjust my angle to accommodate all of him. He stood in the aisle and gripped my head, his fingers digging into my hair. I gripped his suited thighs and sucked him harder, needier than I ever had. God, I loved this man. God, I wanted him. All of him. I wanted him to look at me and see no other woman. I wanted to be his wife and have his babies, and for none of them, or us, or him to be broken. I wanted the impossible, and I took this instant instead.

There was only a thin curtain between us and the service cabin, and he whispered my name as his legs shuddered beneath my hands. "Don't stop,” he begged. “Yes, baby." I knew that scrape of his voice, the huff of his breath, the tightening of his thighs… all the signs that he was close.

And then, the breakdown.

His hand tangling in my hair, the hard thrust of his pelvis up into my throat as he moaned my name and shot his hot release into my throat. My mouth kept working, sucking the cum from him, bobbing up and down, up and down, then he pulled away.

He collapsed into the closest chair and pulled me into his lap, his cock still twitching, still wet from me. He held me in his arms, kissed me hard, and whispered a string of sweet promises and gratitude against the top of my head.

I loved this man with my whole heart.

I needed him.

He completed me.

I closed my eyes, curled into his chest, and felt the wrap of his arms around me.

* * *

I lay in our bed, the whip of the fan above me, and stared at the engagement ring. It was nestled in a dark blue box, the glint of its diamond brilliant, even in the dark. Brant had pulled it out hours before. We had dinner on our home's rooftop deck, the glitter of the ocean our backdrop, expensive wines paired with delicious courses. After dessert, he did the whole thing again, getting down on one knee and presenting the ring.

"You won't give up," I had scolded him with a sad smile.

"I'll never give up on us."

"Me neither," I’d promised him, leaning forward and pressing my lips against his forehead. “But I can't say yes. Not right now.”

I wanted the ring. Wanted to be his wife. Wanted forever. I gently worked the ring free and placed the box on the nightstand. Rolling the platinum setting in my fingers, the unique diamond stone glinted at me. It was blue, a color I had never seen on a diamond. Not too large. Between two and three perfect, unmarred carats. It would be the only thing in our union unflawed and honest, with nothing to hide. The stone didn't match us. It deserved an innocent bride marrying a man with nothing in his eyes but love. But maybe those were the couples who got the imperfect, thousand-dollar Zales specials. Maybe the flawless, priceless diamonds were reserved for trophy wives and cheating husbands. Trust fund babies with mistresses on the side. People like Brant and me. Maybe this diamond evened out our deficiencies with a few carats of retaliating perfection. I slid the diamond on, the fit perfect, and it shone in the darkness. I rolled onto my side beside Brant and ran my hand along his back, his tan skin the perfect backdrop to the diamond I would never be able to wear. I leaned forward, kissed his skin, and curled up against his warmth, the weight of the ring comforting. I closed my eyes and dreamt of perfection.

I woke up just before dawn and pulled off the ring. I carefully returned it to its box and back in his suitcase, nestled between sunscreen and rolled socks. Then I returned to bed. I wondered, for a brief moment, if Molly had called Marcus. It was a black thought in a perfect day, but Lee wouldn't leave my head. He stalked my dreams. Dominated my imagination. Pulled on me with insistent hands whenever my mind had an uncontrolled moment. I should have forgotten him. I should have left him and Molly to their life of apparent bliss. But I couldn't. Instead, I was falling for him. Intertwining my life with his until I couldn't tell when mine with Brant ended, and mine with his began.

It was a dangerous game and one that was fixing to get worse. Much worse.

Chapter 35: Hawaii

I ran across the sand, my stride used to the give, my speed consistent as I dug through deep places and pounded through the receding surf. At this time of morning, I was alone. There were a few towel boys, setting up chairs in front of the adjacent hotel, but no one else. The solitude, paired with the soothing sound of waves helped to cleanse my thoughts.

I was morally lost. It was official. I’d gotten turned around to the point where I didn't know if I was climbing uphill or down. My obsession, my game with Lee? It was a losing, impossible battle. I knew that. I knew that the smartest thing to do, the safest thing, would be to ignore him and let him live his life. To stay on my side of town with Brant.

I didn't love Lee. I barely even liked Lee. I loved Brant. But Lee was ... a necessity, one that fucked me as if he was created to do it. He was a key that opened another side of my life, away from the finery, a side of life that could be filled with impulse and fun.

I ran faster, my breath ragged as I took out my frustration. I stumbled in the sand and my calves screamed in surrender.

I ignored the pain, going faster. Faster. I ran until my heart ached and my lungs broke, then I sank onto the sand, my knees disappearing into the wet suction, my chest heaving as I flopped on my back. I closed my eyes and stayed in place until my heart rate calmed.

When the sun grew hot and the first tourists started to make their way down to the beach, I rolled over and tried my best to brush the sand from my back. Then I stood up and headed back to the house, and to Brant and the life I should be living.

Chapter 36: Hawaii

“What do you think about moving here?"

I paused, mid-chew, my mouth filled with a spinach and cottage cheese crepe and shot Brant a quizzical look.

He shrugged from his place at the teak outdoor table. We were on the second story deck, just off the kitchen and overlooking the impressive cliffs and rocky beach. "I was just thinking, we could stay a few months, maybe half the year. We could spend the winters here."

I took a sip of fresh squeezed orange juice. "What about the company?”

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